A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really need some help. i have a constant fear of being alone, physically and emotionally. the close friends i had before all managed to hurt and betray me in some way and those friendships are gone now.i've been recently going out with my ex, and because of our previous relationship i find it so difficult to trust him. we first started out with just a casual relationship, and i told myself that i was fine with that and now i'm beginning to think i'm not. i need someone to be there for me and care about me enough not to hurt me.although he does care about me, i feel like there are times when he just does or says things that makes me question why im letting him into my life again. i know i want to be with him, but im always questioning how this will affect me because i feel like im getting so dependant on him that now i can't stand being alone.i wish i was a stronger person and that i didn't need anyone. but the truth is there are about 2-3 ppl in my life i can actually turn to and he is one of them. i just don't know if i can still be with him because im not sure if he can be the guy that i need him to be, but then im scared of being alone. please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 You need to build your self esteem. It seems as if most of your fears are based from lacking part of your sense of self. You seek relationships to feel fulfilled. Being satisfied, first starts with being whole. Not doing so, in a way you're setting yourself up for this pain.
I want you to work on increasing your your sense of self. As you do, you'll find how these fears will begin disappearing. As you become stronger, your fears will weaken.
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