A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend nearly 5 months. Im 27 hes 30.i have a 5 yr old daughter which he treats like his own. We are very much in love we dont live together but see each other all the time. Ive just found out im pregnant. Weve had conversations bout marriage and kids as its a serious relationship. He would marry me tomorrow if he could and he said he wanted a family a few yrs ago but never found the right person and its the same 4 me. Ive wanted another child 4 a while. Im worried what people will think! Thats its too soon. What do u think? Hes the most trustworthy.loyal honest man i could meet.and would make a great dad. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (20 February 2010):
Its not such a bad situation, 5 months is enough time to get a basic understanding of the persons character, also taking into account both your ages and wisedom, the relationship isnt likely to fail unlike pregnant teenagers who have been with boyfriends for a month.
Also, some are together for years before knowing the relationship is doomed, whats important is that you judge him objectively and not through love googles as many mistakenly
However it is too soon, its still a bit of a risk, but with a baby on the way you dont have the luxury of time. One the one hand, you might say "we are going to have a baby at some point, so we might as well have this one".
Dont worry about other peoples opinions, this decision is more important than that.
Before you do decide, you need to live with him, this is the true test of whether you can go the distance. Even just a short test, to really see what this guy is like when he is at home. Do this before any permanent decisions are made.
A
female
reader, Tarawr  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 Yes, it is way too early in my opinion. It's too early to even be discussing marriage, children, moving in together. Five months isn't enough time to get to know someone, at least on a relationship-level.
Then again, this is my opinion. It's your life, and you should ultimately do what makes you happy. Don't worry about "what people will think," because it's not their decision.
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A
female
reader, Mia Rio +, writes (19 February 2010):
Hi,
Congratulations! Don't worry about what other people think, see as long as you are happy it really doesn't matter. Some people are with their partners for years and wont feel the way you do after 5 months. Time shouldnt be an issue as long as you know within yourself if its right or not.
Good luck with everything
Mia
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A
female
reader, Emils +, writes (19 February 2010):
 I think that some women can be with a man for years and years and be deeply unhappy... Just because you have been going out for a short amount of time does not mean you will be any less happy with him. Its not the completely ideal time, but if he makes you happy then why wait? life is short. You sound like you have made up your mind already. The people judging how fast your relationship has moved obviously can't see how happy you are. Maybe they are jelous, i know it sounds childish but its so often the answer! When youve met the one you have met the one! So waiting a year two years, will not change. Its only a shame that you have been unable to have the romantic early stages of the relationship, but because you have a child from a previous relationship that would be hard anyway. As with any relationship i would make sure you still spend quality time as a couple not just as a mother and a father. I wish you all the luck for the future, Emils x
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