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I'm pregnant and my husband's ex is stalking me! PLEASE-what can I do?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi! I'm 2 months pregnant and I have a major worry. Recently I told the hard truth to my husband's ex girlfriend about her inability to properly care for her daughter. I probably shouldn't have, but I was sick of her acting as if she's the best mother in the world, when she leaves her daughter with random people so she can go out and party. She is a bit on the psychotic side (slashing tires, murder threats, that sort of thing). I'm worried that she may have gotten angry with me over the truth and might do something stupid. She's been following me and it's quite scary because she tries to run me off the road (swerves towards me, slows down fast once in front of me, gets right on my rear end.). What are the steps that I need to take to prevent her from hurting me or my baby to be? By the way the police won't do anything, because she hasn't made any threats and there is no proof that she is trying to harm me. They told me that until she actually physically does something they can't do anything 'cause there is no law against stalking in my state. Is it going to have to come to her harming me before someone does something?

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A female reader, samsmommy United States +, writes (20 December 2008):

samsmommy agony auntOk I know this might sound a little harsh, but I would get a gun if I were you, I have a 9 mo old son and I would shoot/hurt/kill somebody in a second if they tried to harm me or my son. And since your little one is in your belly, if she hurts you, she may end up hurting him/her. And since you can't go around fighting someone while you're preggo, and like you said she's kind of a physcho so she might try something crazy, a gun is a good option. That is if you truly think she would go that far as to actually physically harm you.

Trying to run you off the road, stopping right in front of you, etc. isn't extremely dangerous, but if she's following you places, and is actually getting out of her car, don't go anywhere secluded or dimly lit, at least not without someone else or a weapon, and make sure you go places that have a lot of people, and try to have someone with you most of the time.

I don't know what state you live in, but if she actually threatened you and you have proof of it, i.e. voice mail, email, text, etc. then you should be able to file a restraining order, and you can let the police officer listen to/see the threats.

But your state might not do that, even though they should. It's really stupid that there is no law against stalking in your state, I can't believe it, how do they expect to save people's lives if they won't help you until you're hurt, or possibly dead? What's the point then when the damage has already been done?

Anyway, I hope I helped you, and if you need any help with anything you can message me anytime.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008):

hi...........unfortunately it seems you have upset a bully.... it seems the key here could well be your husband - after all he knows you both well. I would suggest your husband talking to the woman and trying to smooth things over, he could also suggest the police are aware of the womans activities so it would be best for all involved if everything just cooled down... finally try not to aggravate the situation or to react and there is a good chance she will find somebody else to argue with. If this does not work, get yourself a loud personal alarm to act as a deterrent.......good luck!

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