A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, been dating this girl for 3 weeks now and we have decided to get intimate in a few days time.The thing is this 'girl' isn't actually a girl.She's a transsexual.She only told me this today.And I know what you may be thinking, how could I not know or suspect a thing.Well she doesnt have any male features aside from a certain appendage, no adams apple, small feminine hands, a very soft voice and even womanly hips.I really like her but I'm not gay, not even bi and now I dont know what it will make me if I do get intimate with her.Even with the knowledge that I now currently possess about her, I still would like to be in a relationship but I dont want her to cross any of my boundaries if you know what I mean.Can someone please help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): You like her? That's fantastic. But the whole situation seems a bit - well, complicated? I get that completely.
For a minute, try and put yourself in her shoes. (I don't mean wear her strappy heels: leave them alone!)
'I've been dating this gorgeous guy for three weeks and he's absolutely adorable and I've realised I really want to get intimate with him physically. The problem is, I'm technically not a girl, I'm a tranny. I only told him this today. He hadn't suspected a thing and while he didn't take it too badly, I could tell he was shocked. I feel like crying because now I'm worried that he won't want to take things to the next level. I can tell he really likes me but he says he's not gay or bi (at this point in time) and is worried that that all changes if we go for it sexually. I don't know what to do, I put so much effort into being feminine and this is making me despair of ever finding a nice guy.'
If you still like her knowing what you now know, what's wrong with you two going for it? It doesn't need to be broadcast publicly on live TV. As for your comment about her 'crossing your boundaries' I admit I'm not totally certain what you mean, but it's pretty unlikely that a tranny will want to take the sexually dominant role, if that's what you're implying/worried about.
As for her keeping the penis, it doesn't mean that she identifies as male in any way. More likely, she's read up on what 'the operation' entails and thought 'No chance, I'll keep things the way they are.'
Hope it all works out
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 Ok, then that definitely means you have a tough choice to make. By the views you have expressed I think that she is probably best kept as a friend for you before the relationship goes to far and someone gets hurt. If you stay in a relationship with her then the boundaries will be tested or crossed at some point and it is not really fair for you two to have to hold back because of the discomfort. You can be a great friend of hers and she can find someone who is willing to give her a full relationship. I'm not saying it is easy but I know that you know something has to be done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh yeah, there's something I should have mentioned,
She has no intention whatsoever in completely going through with the sex change, she's keeping the penis
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (8 November 2011):
Well you will have a choice to make here because this is how she is and you don't know her intentions of whether she plans on going through with the sex change or not.
It's a tough choice and you are the only one who can make it.
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