A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this girl I work with a lot lately and we've really hit it off. I get along with her better than I get along with my best friend. Well, I'm really into her and I just recently found out she feels the same. But here's the catch: she's currently in a relationship with a fellow employee, who I happen to get along with really well. Not a bad guy at all. Her and I have talked and shared our feelings but that's as far as it's gone. And we both feel like horrible people for it. This seems like a no-brainer. Normally, I would have just kept my feelings to myself and went on with life. I'm not fond of ruining relationships. But this girl is amazing. I can't stop thinking about her. I'm completely at a loss. Neither of us know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Think how you would feel if you were the guy. Don't let this go any further unless she decides with no suggestion from you that she wants to finish with him. It's quite common for people to feel attracted, but you don't have to act on it,and you can choose to think about something else instead of her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Well, things like this are tough, personal situations and have certain variables that need to be weighed. These variables include: just how well she likes you, the length/seriousness of the girl's existing relationship (from her POV), your relationship to the other guy, the 'other guys' feelings towards the girl, estimations on the impact of this relationship on your job (how others might see it, etc..) and the icky part....how you estimate the 'other guy' will react to you stealing his gf. Ultimately, if she has feelings for you that are stronger than those for him, that relationship will dwindle with time. So, you can keep things the way they are and hope that time period is relatively short, go behind his back, ask her to leave the other guy, or, depending on your feelings for her, just let it be (i don't know how you feel about your best friend, but my best friend is like a brother to me) so this may not be an option :)
anyways, time solves all problems and you can choose to let pieces fall where they may, or somewhat guide the pieces to where you want them to be. Love really is illogical so don't use a whole lot making your decision.
Personally, i'd say go for it....life isn't indefinite
best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (23 June 2009):
 well first of all it's in her court. you cannot do anything because she's with someone and as you've said someone you get along with whose not a bad guy, i mean she needs to know what it is she wants whether it's you or the guy she is with. if it is you she needs to end the relationship with him NOW because it's not fair on him, but if she wants him then she needs to tell you as it will not be fair on you. she can't have her cake and eat it too.
she needs to decide which one she feels she'll be better off with.
all you can do is just wait for a decision but tell her that's what she is to do decide between him or you because both is just unfair on both of you and greedy.
hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Your choice is simple. Would you rather be a lonely pansy or scumbag with a girlfriend? You see either way, it's going to suck for you. Either you let what sounds to be an incredible relationship die on the vine because you are afraid to step into a moral gray area and pay the social price for it, or you go for it and everybody thinks you're a douche bag for screwing this poor guy out of his gf. It's lose lose bro, the only choice is which losing end you want to come out on. Lilly livered panty waist or douche bag. Choose wisely.
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