A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i was dating this guy sometime back for 4 months. i broke up with him because i suddenly started feeling as if the love was gone. a month later i got into a relationship with an pretty good friend. its been 7 months since i've been dating him but since the past 1 and a half month i've suddenly started liking my ex again. he's got another girlfriend now and says that he has moved on but something tells me that he hasnt. we still talk. he calls me up almost everyday and also he lies to his girlfriend about talking to me. i don't see any hope but its like he keeps giving me signals. i'm really confused. i don't wanna do this to my current boyfriend because he's pretty serious about me. but i just cant let go. now even my boyfriend has started sensing that i still like my ex. what do i do? i cant understand what my ex wants. is he playing a double sided game or something? please help me!by the way, my ex is about to leave school in a few months...so i feel like this problem would be resolved by then...but what if my current relationship ends by that time? i don't wanna end up alone!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): There's nothing wrong with being single. If neither of these guys are right for you, it would be better to be single than to settle for one of them so as to not be alone.
Why did you break up with your ex? What were the reasons? Sometimes we forget the reasons why a relationship ended, and when we look back we think of only the positive things and the happy memories. But something must have been going wrong. Or the relationship just wasn't what you wanted, and didn't have what you were looking for. Does your ex seem more appealing now that he has a girlfriend? That can happen sometimes too.
Your ex may like you back, or he may just like the attention of two girls - his girlfriend and his ex. No matter what his intentions are, he has a girlfriend. So I think you need to really think about what you want. Do you think you would really be happier with your ex again? Or are you just turning to him because you are feeling a bit bored in your current relationship?
Do you really want either one of these guys? Do either of them make you feel happy? Or are you just afraid of being single, and so are willing to make do with either one of them?
I think you have a few options. You can cut off contact with your ex and try and focus on your current relationship, and try and build things back up again. Even if things don't feel as good as they did in the beginning, is it worth saving? Is it worth a bit of work?
Or you could ask your ex exactly what he wants. Does he have feelings for you? Does he want to try again? And would you be willing to try again with him? If so, then I think it would only be fair for both of you to end things with your partners, and try again from scratch. Otherwise, things could become messy, and more people could get hurt.
Or you could end things with both of these guys and spend some time focussing on you. Take care of yourself for a while, become more comfortable being by yourself and doing things by yourself. It's really not so awful, honestly. It might help give you some space to consider what you are looking for in a relationship, as you will be able to gain some perspective.
It is something only you can decide, and I think you will have to be really honest with yourself and consider what you truly want. It won't be easy, so take some time to think first before making a decision. I hope something here helps, and good luck.
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