A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i have dated this man for over 10 years. there have been many hard times as it relates to communication etc. to make a long story short, i love him very much and i know he loves me, however, im ready to get married. i do not want to be his 60 year old girlfriend and i told him all of this. if he doesnt want to then i need to go my way although it hurts. he has reacted pretty defensively which i understand but hes been getting lots of milk and i want him to buy the cow. am i wrong. by the way i do understand this is an ultimatim, however, it is one of the few times in this relationship ive truly asked for what i wanted. im kinda an old fashion girl and want to create a life with someone. thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 November 2007):
 The best way to do this is don't tell him what you want, why don't you ask him to tell you what he wants. Where does he see this relationship going. If marriage is in the picture, how long before it takes that direction.
I will say now that there are certain fears that come with marriage these days. Marriage is suppose to be a sealed union to unite the love of two people into one unit. So many these days figure, we're together anyway, why get a piece of paper to signify what we're doing anyway.
If you get an answer like that then it matters to you but doesn't matter to him. If it doesn't matter either way to him, then there should be no reason why he wouldn't take your hand in marriage.
If he has fears, its best those are addressed now instead of later.
Good luck, and I hope he buys the cow. Take care.
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