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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm in serious need of purging my 'issues' and pain right now, and I need to work them out somehow. But I'm afraid to see a counselor again because I sometimes think if I've waited too long to deal with something directly (in this case a very bad breakup which I should have mentally dealt with properly though counseling immediately after it), it will just be worse for me to drag it all out infront of a stranger who I'm paying to listen to me. I don't want to relive and to try to remember half of what I've forgotten. I want to forget, but the negative stuff has changed me and my life. It's now infused with me, rather than just a very unpleasant memory. I don't think talking about it is going make it better, but just heighten my awareness of it, make me too sensitive, and make me think too much (I over-analyze as it is). What can I do to get rid of this weight that is over me, aside from attempting to do it in therapy? My self-confidence has gotten so low, I don't feel like I have enough of it to just throw myself out in the world or just get super involved with people, even with my old friends. Anyone have any ideas for me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gridrebel  +, writes (30 January 2010):
 Caring Guy is right on. If you want your mental and emotional situation to change, you have to DO something. Even if you don't feel like it. I don't like exercising. In fact, I absolutely hate it. However, if I want to stay trim and fit, I HAVE to do it. I can't wish, hope or even mentally imagine myself fit. It requires some sort of action on my part. Please keep in contact with your old friends, maybe one of them is a "good" friend. Someone you can talk to and bounce your feelings off of. It won't hurt, will get you outside yourself a bit and that is part of what being human is. We need each other for the socialness. It is healthy and beneficial. Get the energy to stay connected with your friends or someone. Even disclosing your issues here online is a big step and a good one. Peace to you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 January 2010):
You'll never be able to forget your pain. Nothing works like that. Not even counselling will just make you forget the pain. What you can do is come to terms with it, rise above it. If there is a lot of pain in your life right now, then this is the moment to start making positive changes in your life. Throw yourself into your life. Get back out there with friends and meet people, start a new hobby that takes your mind off things, look at doing another career. Do something that you have always wanted to do with your life, and throw yourself into it. The more you are doing with the rest of your life, the less pain you will feel about the one area in your life that isn't working out right not. Then, one day, you'll have come to terms with the pain you've felt.
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