A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi allcan anyone please help me out??? im truly madly in love a girl. we used to work together, tho we were just good friends at the time nothing more. she left with her ten BF and had a child. approx 3 years later we meet up again through a mutual friend and got on great. this is where it get complicated. when we meet via the mutual friend we got together even tho she was still seeing her BF and they still lived together with the child. we couldn't stop texting each other and both of us ran out of mins on our phones just chatting about loads of random stuff. she then left her then BF to be wid me. her and her EX-BF are apparently still best mates and get on really well and to top it off still love together at her parents house. i love spending time wid her cos she is amazing and everything i could wish for in a woman, but wen her parents found out about us being together they refused to even show that i existed and hoped that her and her EX-BF wud get bk together. she says she loves me and wants to get married one day. and im the same way inclined. it doesn't bother me that she is still 'best mates' wid her ex. they get on well and it makes her happy. and strangely we get on from time to time. then today whilst shopping she drops a bomb shell that she doesn't want any more kids apart from the one she already has. she says that she wants me to be happy and has told me to leave her to go find some one who can make me happy by giving me a child. i told her that there is no point me movin on to find someone new to have a child with cos i love her and want to spend the rest of my life wid her regardless. tbh it does bother me if i have kids or not, but she seems to think that i blame her in the future wen i want children. btw regarding her she wud have probs conceiving children due to a medical condition and has had heartbreak in the past whilst trying for 1st child.please help ....all i want to do is convince her that im totally in love wid her regardless of whether or not she can have kids or not. really dont want her to break us up so can be happy cos i wont.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Simply tell her that you love her and the fact that she will not bear your children changes nothing. Tell her you still wish to be with her because you are happy with her now. You can figure things out later when the time comes because you understand why she feels this way about having children. You are both still quite young and children should not be an immensely large concern for you right now. Enjoy this relationship in the present and should you feel the need to have children one day, should you feel a burning want to have a child of your own being cradled in your arms, talk about it and discuss your options.
I hope that helps.
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