A
female
age
36-40,
*estbahnhof
writes:so.. i am a dancer.. by profession. my dance trainer is extremely serious and strict. He was very serious with me in the beginning of my work with him. Now since exactly a month he has been smiling wierdly when he talked to me.. a wierd smile, that he tries to hide.. this smile i can read it in his eyes.. whenever he sees me, or talks to me.. he started to motivate me more and more, and im starting to feel wierd whenever he screams loudly infront of all my collegues: BRAVO! YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED! YOU HAVE DYNAMIC or even when he asks my collegues to clap for me like we are in a class or something?My dance show is getting nearer and nearer, and i have started to dream about him every single night.. and even if i sleep in the day time, he comes to my dream.. i even dreamt that we were having sex together! even though i was never thinking about him at all!! but since he started to stare at me and smile wierdly,i started to feel him more and more..i sometimes feel there is a connection between us,, i started not to look at him,, i dont even say hi when he passes by!! i try to ignore him.. and now i see the same from his side,, he doesn't look at me when i am sitting alone, cause i feel that he doesn't want to be answered in a cold way by me.. but when i talk to him he has this smile.. this smile feels like: " i find you very cute".. "i like your smile",,, this is the message i get.. this is how i feel..I started to love him.. i have strong feelings for him, i hide it as much as i can.. and on daily basis for a month now or even more, i have been dreaming about him every night..Now, when i go to work, he started to act wierdly.. it is like when two people had sex last night and next day they come to work and they try not to make it obvious.. they try not to show facial expressions or say things or act in a way that would bring any kind of attention.. although,, we never had sex!! and our relationship is totally a trainer-trainee thing!!Even when he doesn't look at me during the dance session, he dances looking right, left or centre, but i feel that he is focusing on me.. then his eyes fall on me and he smiles as if he says : "you caught me! i can't resist you.." and i smile back..please, just tell me, do you think that this person has feelings for me? what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, westbahnhof +, writes (3 May 2011):
westbahnhof is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok.. someone tell me what to do now... last week, he entered the dance studio with an unbelievable mood.. he was extremely angry.. i didn't do anything.. we were working on a new choreography and i got a bit confused, so i stopped many times.. and he blew all his anger on me.. he was looking right into my eyes and yelling.. his screams got louder and louder,, all i did was simply look at the floor and my feet.. i was scared.. after the session my collegues came to me just to tell me not to be sad and that he is a very strict person when it comes to work and that he was already in a very bad mood before the session, he was already fighting with the staff.. so next day i called him and asked if we could speak about the matter, he was very normal,, and said: " yeah let's meet tomorow at the dance studio at 19:00,, don't be late! i said ok.. next day i was at the dance studio on time.. i waited and waited.. he didn't show up.. i called him and he answered and said: i will be there in 5 minutes wait for me.. and i waited and waited.. still,, no show! i called again,, he didn't answer his phone.. i realised i had waited for 2 and a half hours.. then i went home.. i was very angry.. so at about 10:30 in the evening he called me up and said: " i am very sorry, i was really caught up in a meeting, i had many meetings today, and the people i was with were too difficult people, i couldn't even answer my mobile, i could even hold it!! i ofcourse couldn't hold myself and said to him: "i don't understand your mentality!! i don't understand you! you caould have atleast told me to go home and not to wait!! and he said:"i am sorry,, i really couldn not even hold my phone! i was so busy! i never mader anyone wait so long in any meeting before, and i don't like to make anyone wait for me like that, but we will speak tomorow after the session..so next day, after the session i asked him: " do you have time now? he said :"yes,, let's talk..".. and then his twenty-three year old nephew was standing next to him, and my trainer was looking right into my eyes and speaking to his nephew in spanish which i don't understand,, and his nephew was really laughing! he was simply making fun of me in spanish! and i was looking like a fool! this is not the first time he does this,, last time he was also looking at me, 2 metres away and speaking to another dancer saying: "look at her, look at her!" and i could not understand the rest of what he said cuz the place was too noisy..anyway, then we sat together, and i told him that he hurt me alot.. ofcourse,, all he said was: "i want what's best for you, bla bla bla.. don't take it seriously...please,, someone tells me,, what does it mean when someone looks at you and makes fun of you infront of someone else! do you people think???
A
female
reader, westbahnhof +, writes (3 May 2011):
westbahnhof is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok.. someone tell me what to do now... last week, he entered the dance studio with an unbelievable mood.. he was extremely angry.. i didn't do anything.. we were working on a new choreography and i got a bit confused, so i stopped many times.. and he blew all his anger on me.. he was looking right into my eyes and yelling.. his screams got louder and louder,, all i did was simply look at the floor and my feet.. i was scared.. after the session my collegues came to me just to tell me not to be sad and that he is a very strict person when it comes to work and that he was already in a very bad mood before the session, he was already fighting with the staff.. so next day i called him and asked if we could speak about the matter, he was very normal,, and said: " yeah let's meet tomorow at the dance studio at 19:00,, don't be late! i said ok.. next day i was at the dance studio on time.. i waited and waited.. he didn't show up.. i called him and he answered and said: i will be there in 5 minutes wait for me.. and i waited and waited.. still,, no show! i called again,, he didn't answer his phone.. i realised i had waited for 2 and a half hours.. then i went home.. i was very angry.. so at about 10:30 in the evening he called me up and said: " i am very sorry, i was really caught up in a meeting, i had many meetings today, and the people i was with were too difficult people, i couldn't even answer my mobile, i could even hold it!! i ofcourse couldn't hold myself and said to him: "i don't understand your mentality!! i don't understand you! you caould have atleast told me to go home and not to wait!! and he said:"i am sorry,, i really couldn not even hold my phone! i was so busy! i never mader anyone wait so long in any meeting before, and i don't like to make anyone wait for me like that, but we will speak tomorow after the session..so next day, after the session i asked him: " do you have time now? he said :"yes,, let's talk..".. and then his twenty-three year old nephew was standing next to him, and my trainer was looking right into my eyes and speaking to his nephew in spanish which i don't understand,, and his nephew was really laughing! he was simply making fun of me in spanish! and i was looking like a fool! this is not the first time he does this,, last time he was also looking at me, 2 metres away and speaking to another dancer saying: "look at her, look at her!" and i could not understand the rest of what he said cuz the place was too noisy..anyway, then we sat together, and i told him that he hurt me alot.. ofcourse,, all he said was: "i want what's best for you, bla bla bla.. don't take it seriously...please,, someone tells me,, what does it mean when someone looks at you and makes fun of you infront of someone else! do you people think???
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A
female
reader, westbahnhof +, writes (28 April 2011):
westbahnhof is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is an update:
He is sooo busy in between the probes.. has no time for anyone.. can't speak... all he has is a 5 minute rest between a session of Tango and salsa then he switches to hip hop, or lating jazz,, then to samba... he has absolutely no time... and it's STRANGE for anyone to ask him out,, he's tough and strict.. all i have is the minutes during my session with him.. other than that he has his own life, and so do i, going back home to sleep knowing that he'll be again the star of the dream movie..
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A
female
reader, themagentskie  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 Attraction and crushes are our adrenaline. I could be a hypocrite and tell you to talk to him or you can break the touch barrier and try getting closer to him. Nudge a bit, joke around, hint at getting a bite to eat. If he's not interested, he'll make it obvious and it will have your mind at ease.
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