| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Who to Marry?? I was dating a guy for 10 years and he was the love of my life. We started dating when we were very young and many things happened in those 10 years, including him cheating on me, and myself cheating on him. However, our relationship was very fun and always exciting. He was my best friend. My friends did not like him and my parents did not agree with most of the things he did. So listening to my friends, family, and some doubts from myself I decided to call it quits just after we got engaged. Soon after I met someone else who possesses all the traits of a wonderful husband and has since asked me to marry him. I just don't know what to do. I can't seem to get over my ex and move on. My ex and I still talk all the time and still have feelings for each other. I am just not sure if I should try to work things out with him or stay with the new guy. Please help...
View related questions:
best friend, engaged, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (16 September 2005):
 The answer to this question that you have does really rely on whether you wish to pursue a life possibly packed with excitement, fun and unreliability or one of stability, honesty and dependability. The latter doesn't have to be boring; you can add as much spice as you like with the comfort of knowing it will probably last without any doubts or unfaithfulness.
You have to trust yourself more rather than listening to your friends and family. Could you devote yourself to man who you feel has all the traits of a husband? What are those traits? Does your ex not have any of them? Could the qualities he has not be cultivated and nurtured to make him a husband or is he too unpredictable?
Work out what and who you really want by deciding exactly what you want in a man. If you find you can't decide between the two, then pehaps neither are really suitable right now. If you discover yourself wanting to be with this man you have just met, then throw in the towel with your ex, draw a firm line under him and never be in contact with him again. In time, providing you have nothing to do with him, his memory will fade and if you feel there isn't enough sparkle in the relationship you chose, then work together to create it. Magic can often be chemical but it doesn't mean to say that you can't be instrumental in making some of your own.
Good luck.
|
