A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My mother's cousin's son and I have been best friends for three years. It's getting close (less than a year) to the time when we will be going our separate ways to go to college, and I'm extremely upset. I don't think I love him, but I can't imagine life without him. We're almost like one person, but at the same time, I have no desire to have any sort of physical relationship with him, but then again, I'm not really one for physical aspects of a relationship. I don't know what to do. I'm confused about my feelings for him and what they mean. Help please?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (19 January 2013):
Hi there. It's possible that part of your confusion is that you and him are actually related.
So for you at some level, it crosses some boundaries.
Sort of like taboo.
Cousins sometimes do have romantic relationships.
Over the years, it has happened.
However, there would always be that worry that if you ever had children together, that there could be some genetic problems because of being so close in bloodlines.
Even though you have said here, that you "don't think I love him," you are not sure about it either.
Plus, you said you can't imagine life without him.
Because you have said this, it does seem you do have some feelings for him, although at this time they are undefined.
Well at the very least, you are good friends.
So maybe, you are just not sure whether it is just friendship that you feel for him, or something more.
And it depends on how often you see each other, as to how much of a problem this presents for you.
Three years is a while to get to know each other, after all, so you have probably become pretty close over that time.
It's only you who can decide what you want from this friendship with your cousin.
And you will have to decide.
For now though, just think of him ONLY as a good friend and nothing more.
You can never have too many friends.
And even after you both go your separate ways to go off to college, when you both come back to visit, you can catch up and have a coffee together.
You can be friends with a member of the opposite sex, WITHOUT it having to be a boyfriend and girlfriend situation.
Perhaps this is where you are feeling a bit ill at ease about it all.
Keep reminding yourself that you are cousins, after all.
So surely, you can still be friends and get together to catch up and have fun together, without any ties attached.
He probably feels the same way.
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