A
female
age
41-50,
*akda
writes:Hi I am a 30yo woman married for 4 years. Of late, I am getting attracted to a workmate who is 26 yo and unmarried. Whenever he is around I just can't seem to focus, my hands start to shake and butterflies in my tummy. Even he seems to feel the same thing cause he is extra friendly to me and smiles the most when its me talking to him which is very unlike him with other people at work. I have even tried completely avoiding him to the point of not even saying hello but couldnt get him out of my mind. I constantly find myself fantasising about him not in a sexual way but just holding hands and kissing. I dont want to leave my husband and continue a relationship with this other man but I really want to know how it would be to spend a few moments with him. Need help urgently...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): "I dont want to leave my husband and continue a relationship with this other man but I really want to know how it would be to spend a few moments with him." so you are asking for permission to have an affair or do you want us to condone it. sorry, i will not!if you think so little of your marriage and your hb do whatever you want to. in the end those few moments of spreading your legs will prove to be your downfall. and plse do not think that your hb will not find out. men have an uncanny ability to smell another mans semen in their wives, and your hb will be no different. when you destroy and betray your marriage vows you will have no one but yourself to blame. play with fire and you will definatley get burnt. BADLY.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Don't go there. If there are problems within your marriage, go to marriage guidance counselling. Also, put yourself in your husband's shoes - If you found out he was feeling this way about a woman at work and actually considering having sex with her, how would you feel? You are probably craving excitement after the stability of marriage for 4 years etc .. and this guy happens to be around as eye candy .. but if he wasn't around it could have been anything or anyone that caught your attention and made you feel excited if you see what I mean - just channel your energies into having fun with your husband or maybe taking up a hobby that interests and excites you. Hope this helps. Don't go there! Recipe for disaster and if you get caught, at work and people start gossiping and your husband finds out it would be awful. Every time you get these feelings picture the scenario of your husband fancying someone at his workplace or or your husband finding out about you. Extra marital activities nearly always get found out and a 26 yr old guy is hardly likely to want to get involved in a messy situation of a married person but is more likely to be wanting to have fun with his friends or meeting a single girl. You are lucky to have a happy marriage - don't blow it! :) Good luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): it's only a fantasy,, leave it at that.
Keep the though, go home and attack your husband !!
a fantasy is one thing,, reality can really bite.
(wouldn't you really rather get nibbled on by your hubby??)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 January 2010):
www.womensinfidelity.com
Read this, you'll find it interesting. To give you a taster, it tells how at four years, some women can start to have problems with a marriage. This is the moment to really focus on your marriage, so read that and start spending time on your husband. Because if you try to spend a few times with this other guy, you'll destroy your marriage and look back in a few years and realize you made a mistake. Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, redsox29  +, writes (9 January 2010):
It's just a crush. I know you "feel" like it could be something more but really, it's just different than what you're used to. It's more of a fantasy to be with someone else. Have you had these feelings before?
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (9 January 2010):
 It would more then likely be passionate, and extremely arousing! because your infatuated with him, but guess what? infatuation, goes away, and then your left with guilt, possibly a divorce, and a broken family! not to mention a devastated husband, and if your workmate desires, you could also be left with a less the moral work image! seem worth it to you? You should go spend more time with your husband, and think what you would do if he was having the same feelings about the neighbor lady!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Danger, Will Robinson.You need to get a grip or your marriage is going in the dumpster and who knows what other disgrace befalls you after that happens.
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