A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a relationship with a guy and we have been together for a little over a couple months. Before this I was single for a year and out of a really long-term relationship (close to six years).I'm a very extroverted person and like to tell it how it is, if I'm angry then I will tell you. If I am sad then you will know it, and if I am happy or in love - then no matter what, I'll let you know.The trouble is that the guy that I am with is a complete introvert. It's really hard for me to know what he's thinking or where I stand. He told me a week or so ago that he was falling in love with me, and I was so happy I actually cried a little and told him that I felt the same way. We see eachother a lot over a week. In fact, it's more often than not. It's just when we aren't together, I don't often get texts or calls to ya know just 'see how I am'. Kind words with this boy are very few - sometimes when he says something nice to me, it can brighten up my day instantly. It's not that he doesn't treat me well, he just lives a lot in his own head and has some troubles with depression. When we are together, sometimes he's super affectionate and attentative and other times he seems distant. It's very hot and cold. He works a physically demanding job, and sometimes I pin it to exhaustion, but it's hard for me not to feel clingy because right now I'm so in love that all I wanna do is bask in it and have fun with him. What should I do? I hate how clingy I'm feeling, but at the same time I wanna know what he's thinking. Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): :) I’m in the same boat. I love my girlfriend, but every time I get the sense she is worrying about me/us, I try to explain online and end up causing more confusion. Online words are not the same as face to face communication.I’ll tell you something; not talking about problems really hurts. Pain is just as important as happiness, and being in a relationship means being open to both. Sharing is caring.Maybe your boyfriend needs to know about the bad in order to feel connected to you? Not in a bad way, but just so he knows he isn’t alone and your relationship has some deeper meaning to him other than fun. He wants to change perhaps but can’t do that alone, especially when you’re asking strangers for advice and not talking to him directly about this.I hope it works out for the best between you two :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): I'm introverted and one reason I do not show too many feelings is fear...I don't want to regret anything I choose to share with a person. My current boyfriend is an extrovert, he gets frustrated and hurt by me-says I never tell him anything, that I don't trust him and don't care for him. I love him! It's just so hard for me to say so. I try to be very affectionate and simply show how I feel since I don't voice things. But, if something bothers me, I forget to be. Pay attention to your bf's touches, the things he does. You have to learn to feel more than you can hear. In time, he will let you into his head. It simply takes longer for introverts to trust. My bf has had to learn patience and I am learning to share more. Talking isn't always what holds two together. Lying in bed together, holding him as he holds you, communicating with touches and eyes can show more than you could have ever imagined. I'm sorry but you have to control some of your emotions, they can make us uncomfortable/fearful. xx
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