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female
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*ayleelynn1589
writes: My boyfriend and I have been in a lot of fights but mostly 3 bad ones in about 4 months. We broke up for almost a week while he was deciding if we should stay together and a couple days after we got back together. He says he's pretty sure he won't have as much interest as before and there will never be that "spark" again. If we stop fighting, which we have so far (and we are still together) do you think he will ever get that spark back and feel how he did about me in the beginning? Thanks!
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (26 January 2006):
 What you did while the two of you were apart is your own personal business. So once you are no longer together, he does not have the right to know about your private life, and he shouldnt.
Having sex does not necessarily consist of the actual act of intercourse, but that is my personal opinion. Whenever you two reunite, you should not feel uncomfortable about expressing who you may have slept with. I feel that is out of respect for each other, and for STD reasons.
Keep in mind that although your relationship may be doing well, it may only be momentarily, so be prepared. This guy seems unpredictable and unstable. He is aware that he has a hold on you, and he uses time apart to break down your self esteem, and as a method to control you.
A
female
reader, jayleelynn1589 +, writes (26 January 2006):
jayleelynn1589 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell me and my boyfriend tell each other everything and lately this has been bugging me ..he hates it that i even had sex with 1 preson (sorta) because he only has with 1 girl too but anyways there were a few guys that i didnt actually have sex with because right before they even got it in like only 1 inch maybe we stopped so its not really sex ..and i CANNOT tell him or we will break up because i kept it from him so long ..it didnt bother me this much before now it only does sometimes so is it okay to just try and forget it since it wasnt really sex? i mean i would see how i should tell him if i did have sex with them but i didnt. I would deff. tell him if i did actually have sex with these other people but i didnt exactly..by the way they were ex's i didn't cheat on this guy ..thanks!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): well ..we havent had a fight in 1 week now ..suprisingly and he is getting better and getting "those" feelings back..he never lost them actually he just lost interest in the relationship for awhile from the fights which is understandable ..i do think we're meant to be just by things from the beginning. things are getting better now thank god! thanks everyone who posted
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (26 January 2006):
 This is just his way of looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship...
He has already made up his mind he wants out and is too much of a coward to say so.
I dont see him making an effort to salvage anything, so you would be better off without him in your life.
This relationship has been filled with too much turmoil ... in such a short space of time, always a sure sign that this was not meant to be.
Take Care of Yourself, resolve to have a happy life, and put your own best interests first, is what I can recommend.
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (26 January 2006):
If you broke up and agreed to time apart, it should be something you agree on together. He enjoys having this type of control, as he knows you will be submissive, while he decides if you are good enough for him to remain in the relationship. You are good enough, as a matter of fact, you are too good for him. This guy seems to think that the world evolves around his life, and what he says is the final word. I hope that you learn to stand up to him, and realize its not all about him and what he wants. I think you should take some time out and decide if you want someone who makes all the decisions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): It sounds like you just need to talk out your differences-- not with a fight. If talking will start another fight, don't do it. If you still feel that spark, he probably does too, but is still upset about all the fighting. Just tell him you're sorry, do something you two do a lot together that you both like, and hope for the best. If this is something you want, hold on to it and don't let go until you know that you've reached a dead end for sure. Don't keep a grudge against him either, and hopefully, he will forgive you. Try doing romantic things to get that spark back.
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