A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony aunts!So I'v posted about a man i met online previuosly and asked for general advice.it has now been a year since we started a relationship and I am very much in love with him.However, the issue of my family has started to worry me. I come from a muslime background although my mum is really the only practicing muslim.I know for a fact that my parents will not accept this man as my partner and there will be lots of arguments when i tell them about him.he is completely serious about me and we have discussed prospects of living together and marraige.I'm just so scared about how my family will react.it will have to be either him or my family and I don't know what to do.Please help!xx.
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male
reader, tenjeeuk +, writes (23 August 2014):
Seriously, if you consider yourself a Muslim, you need to really think about what it means to be a Muslim, what is it about you that makes you declare yourself as a Muslim. It really isn't just a label, identity and a few rules. It is about accepting Allah (SWT) as your Lord, and the Prophet (SAW) as your Master, and what is expected of you to return to Him with a sound heart. You can't just say "I'm a non-practicing Muslim" - it has no meaning. If you look into Islam, from the perspective of what does Allah (SWT) expect of me, what guidance has he sent, then if after that you decide you don't care and want to lead a life of a non-Muslim, then do so without the pretence. Your mother will be hurt, but I think she will probalby realise it is too late.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi anon,
no I have never mentioned him to my parents.
they are completely oblivious to the fact i with someone.
it will probably come as a bit of a shock to them.
i still have one more year left at university so i am wondering if i should wait till iv finished with that before telling them?
xx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012): Salam again. Just one thing I fogot to ask. Did you tell your parents about this christian guy you were seeing when you both began dating or have you been doing this behind their back? PLEASE be honest. Thankyou.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi anon. salam is the correct way to greet thanks. im not really a practicing muslim myself though.
my parents are tolerant of western culture to an extent. my dad was born here and my mum came from pakistan 30 years ago so they have adjusted to life here. However, the still expect me to abide by rules such as no drinking, no dating etc.
I respect their point of view and I know they love me.
this man is western. he is a christian man born in the uk. and under islamic rules a muslim woman is not allowed to marry a non muslim man.
my boyfriend has not approached my dad yet to ask.
i know he wants to spend his life with me and we love each other very much.
just worried how my parents will take it.
xx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): Salam (hope this is the correct way to greet Muslim Women). I sympathize with your situation deeply. No one should be placed in a situation where they have to choose between people they love. A few questions: Are your parents tolerant of Western culture? Is your special friend Western in culture? Does Islam allow intermarriages with non-Muslims? Does Islam allow a young women to have boyfriends? Has your special friend approached your father to ask for your hand? Does Islam require that he should do this in order to marry you? Please answer them HONESTLY so that we can see if there is any possibility of marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo we don't live together just yet. we have just the possibility of moving in together at some point in the future. just a bit scared that my mum will want to cut me out of the family as i do love my family. but love him too.
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