A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This question was inspired by all the people who, like me, googled or felt the need to post a forum titled" My boyfriend does not appreciate me".It was a bittersweet experience to know that i am not alone, although i wish no one in the world felt this way--Im glad there is support. And finally--NO, I am not whining! I seriously want to solve this:I have been dating and living with this guy for almost 3 years and he is most of the time sweet, nourishing, loving, dedicated, funny and wise. The thing is, I am 24 yrs old and I feel (like most women) that I am ready to get married and stop dating. Problem is, Mr. Man here, is horrified by the idea. He'll be graduating this month and he claims he is already ready for retirement (talk about fear of assuming responsibility). He wants to become what he calls "a professional bum" meaning no way in hell does he want to take on a real job. his dream is to play music a(which he just started learning 6 months ago), surf and meditate and hopefully be with me (in that exact order). I on the other hand, I am ready for a real career, I have alot of energy and I believe in work and gain...but all of this means that if we were to stay together I would be the one "Supporting the two". I love him, and I know he loves me, but already this couple is doomed cause we'd be living a poor life in separate directions. We've asked eachother why we are still together and I guess we both are holding on hopeful that the other will change into the others "ideal". I need him to mature as a man and start building a substantial life, whilst HE wants me to grow more spiritually towards where he is heading (which is trully not a realistic place in this day and age). we communicate well to eachother but we cant seem to fulfill the others needs, but we are hopefull and keep draggin n draggin. This weekend his parents are coming to visit for his graduation and itll be my first time hosting his family..but where is he? Off to a music concert and dinner with friends and he hasnt put in not a single bit of energy into helping me clean the apartment and moving stuff to make HIS family comfortable. I;ve been home all day moving stuff and cleaning and making beds and doing laundry..ALL ALONE,,and he simply says not to stress him out with that sort of thing and walks out the door. a Thank you? an apology? a "what can i do to help you?"...??!! NOTHING!! and he'll STILL expect me to be all sweet and loving when he gets home! In many ways he's a jewel and worth alot..but not in the way i need. Is it worth it? Why are women always the ones waiting??! I need to know if Im waiting in vain and if I should be looking for love somewhere else? cause lets admit it ladies, the clock is ticking-- faster than a man's clock apparently.P.S lately he's been throwing alot of " If you dont like the way I am, just leave!" comments. Does he mean it? cause later in the day I will find him staring at me with loving eyes as if I was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Im confused!This is the story, without the depths, now PLEASE HELP~~confused and tired~ Reply to this Question
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