A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, a couple years ago I met this man (man 2) - through my then boyfriend - who I became really good friends with.When my relationship ended, it came out that we (me and man 2) both had feelings for each other. We took it SUPER slow in the beginning, only sporatically talking to each other. Well, it's finally progressed to the point that we talk every day - multiple times a day - and for hours. We hang out every now and then (he lives about 1 1/2hrs. away from me, so it's tough to see each other more than once or twice a week given our hectic schedules). And we've hooked up a couple of times (also not easy to make happen seeing as I live with my parents). Anyway, this has been going on for about a month and a half or two months now.I'm totally enjoying things - I love talking to him on the phone and hanging out with him. And, the hook ups are AMAZING. However, sometimes it feels as though we aren't progressing...or at least progressing enough. And, the last time we hooked up he told me he was NOT ready to have sex with me. Honestly, I respect that and I am glad we are taking things slow and not jumping in bed together; but, I was a bit surprised hearing that coming from a guy (and one who I've enjoyed amazing phone sex with already). I am okay waiting (and am not sure I'm 100% ready for it either), but I still feel a little rejected by his ocmment. Any ideas as to why he's not ready yet?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I'm confident there's no one else in his life. Besides the fact that he has given me no reason NOT to trust him, he really doesn't have any time to date anyone else. Between working 2 jobs (very hard), playing on three sport teams, and talking to me multiple times a day...I can't fathom where someone else would fit in?!But...that could also be his hesitation at progressing things - because he is the type of person that does everything at 110%; and, I'm certain he feels he just doesn't have enough right now to give to a relationship...?
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (17 March 2008):
 I agree so much with the other Aunts on this about taking it slow and it being very early on in the relationship to have sex. However, I do think Rythm has a point about the willingness to have phone sex as a contradiction. This stood out to me too.
I also think a lot of phone time versus in person (I know there are some limits on this b/c of your living arrangements) isn't the best either. Despite your living situation, you can still spend time together knowing it's not about sex, right? I mean, more quality time to really allow things to progress?
Are you sure you know everything about his life, is he dating other people or does he have a lot going on right now? I'm not sure what you mean by not progressing other than just sexually. I completely know what you mean about being confused, it's either introducing the physical (even on the phone) or not- I think once it's introduced, it naturally progresses and I don't think this has anything to do with his level of respect, it's just human nature.
The only time I have experienced these barriers once the physical (phone, email, texts, in person) started were if they were married, in a relationship, on blood pressure medication, or had other hang-ups. I'm not trying to scare you at all, I just want to make sure you know everything. If you are enjoying it, just trust your intuition and don't worry so much. If none of this applies, everything else sounds great so far! Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (17 March 2008):
 I don't think two months is that long to wait before having sex with someone you are just getting to know....by today's standards you hear it should happen after the third date, but truth be told, a relationship needs to have a strong foundation of friendship first before it moves on to sex. The Phone sex is a bit weird to me, seems like almost the same thing, I did not know it was a common prelude to actual sexual relations, so I guess I learn something new every day.
I would let him set the pace of this relationship and not push for anything....the longer you wait, the more you will find out about him and him you and then you can decide if there is enough there to take it to the next level.
If all you are after is a sexual fling, then disregard my entire advice and go for it. LOL
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Hang on to this guy for dear life lol!!!!!
What a refreshing change to hear a man say that he is not ready for a sexual relationship, as appose to guys who want to get inside your knickers at the drop of a hat.
Honey this guy totally respects you, you should be proud of that. Carry on having amazing phone sex with him, at least you know what to expect when you guys do eventually hit the sack. What a lucky woman you are to have such a great guy, who is not after one thing. Your post has made my day :D. Dusky xxxxxxxx.
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A
female
reader, xxtinkerbellxx  +, writes (17 March 2008):
The way i see it is (IF) man 2 was good friends with your ex and more than likily still talks to him and the odd time hangs round with him maybe he may feel that he hurtin his mates feelings by moving on to the next level with you.....ORmaybe...... he thinks your not ready and he doesin want to push it on you because its only being 2months sence your last relationship...!!emm i probaly havin helped at all sorry about that i cant really give a major answer on this as i havin bein in this situation bu whatever de case i hope you get it sortd soon.....:(:(
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