A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My perfect guy: He's smart and opinionated, good looking and not afraid to take control, the ultimate Alpha male but at the same time is sweet and sensitive, always making sure Im comfortable and happy......the one thing standing in the way of making it official? He is reluctant to commit to a relationship because he is afraid what might happen if he gets attached and it fails. I've fallen head over heels for this guy and have gotten to know him fairly well, he's everything I could ever imagine and more. He sincerly wants to see me happy and I think he is worth the wait but how do I show him its ok to take that step? If neither of us are commiting to others but cannot commit to each other, where does that leave us? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, guillaume  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Hi,
Maybe an idea...I can understand him not wanting to committ. It's not you, it's all part of his personality, life, upbringing, past experiences.
Do not keep mentioning this as it could make him withdraw slightly. An idea could be to simply talk to him about it, but lightly. Ask what his fears are? Say you will be fearful together. You could say the idea frightens you as well and share some of these fears.
What you need to find out is What experiences has he had of relationships failing. Try to find out what it did to him, how he felt, his disappointment, how he recovered, who supported him.
But you need to do this over a period of time and just lightly. You may be surprised that his reasons are quite simple and fixable over time. But remember that you also have your own fears as well. Good luck!!! G xx
A
male
reader, holikdad  + ♥, writes (9 June 2009):
Blowing in the wind, if he doesn't commit then you'll need to find someone else who fits your criteria for the perfect guy.
No amount of words or actions will make someone commit if they're not ready or going to.
...............................
|
