A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and I have certain secrets I will not share with friends/boyf/cousellor - NOBODY, there PERSONAL, they bring up bad history and i don't want to talk about it (so this is a little hard)I used to - not so long ago cut myself, not my wrists or anywhere obvious i didn't want anyone to know so i cut my upper thighs - i didn't want to die so i wasn't going to cut a major place just wanted to feel some sharp pains. i know you may think i'm crazy for saying it but i had it under control, i only cut after certain situations that were majorly serious such as my relationship with my mother who had told me she would rather have my worst enemy as a daughter than me and to stop crying at my fathers funeral because i was embarrassing her.anyway it never got out of hand and i only did it approx. 1 every 1-3 months anyway now after about 6 months of being "cut free" i have now got a great stable loving relationship.howver i know i will never be close enough to share my feelings and history about certain things. anyway...what am i suppose to do when i go to a waxing salon. they will see my cuts ad i don't want them too i live in a very small town of about 5,000 where everyone knows each other. i am family friends with the only waxer in town and i don't want to wax or shave myself i want a pro.it's too far to go to the next town and i don't have my licence.secondly how can i handle the situation, i will not explain it to him prior, i have noticed under red lighting the scars aren't so visible but if he's looking at me down there he's gonna see.i know you're probably thinking that if i tell him he'll understand and he'll want to know because he loves me, but i don't share and i don't want no one to know, they're personal to me and make me...in a way i wish they weren't there.what can i do...thanks heaps, sorry for the long post.ANON Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Hye, this is the poster.
thanks so much for your advice. I've been thinking since i posted this that i might have to seek some guidance. I don't want to and I'm scared that if I see someone I may return to cutting because of bringing up any issues I bury my issues and forget about them... suppression works for me... so I'm scared I will go back to my ways.
But we all have to face our demons sometime :(
Let's hope my Boyf loves me enough that he and everyone else won't judge and he won't share my secrets with anyone else even if he is trying to help me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): So we have no real way of determining if he will stay or not; that you say he is loving and offers you stability...with this it stands to reason he will accept you and do his best to understand or empathize with you.
Tell him if it is something you want and feel safe to do. If you do not feel safe; don't.
Just talk to someone who can help drive you to another town so you can get the help you want and need while having your privacy.
Sorry I missed this information...I am known to prattle on from time to time. *wink*
Take Care Kiddo.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): Yes, cutting oneself is a way of taking over the control of the pain and releasing it as it is too much; this isn't a very effective or healthy way of dealing with it but there are many adults who still practice this self mutalation as a means to cope.
Sweetie, please look for a counsellor. I can see in a small town how hard it would be for risk of embrassment and judgemental, insensitive people...but you should come first.
You need to take care of yourself and counselling will provide this.
I don't know why so many people see counselling as making one lesser when it actually helps one become stronger, wiser, smarter, healthier, happier.
Has your BF picked up on what may appear you being distant? If he has an issue, he will let you know most men tend to be good at this-being direct.
I think if you want your privacy and help; you are going to have to trust in someone to help you to protect your privacy while getting the counselling you need and desire. Boyfriend could be someone to consider. Or a trusted family memeber or close friend.
Maybe also, this would be a good time to ask BF to help you obtain your drivers so in the future, your options for self help and independence open up.
I hope this helped.
Best Wishes.
*hugs*
...............................
|
