A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl a month ago and we did a few activities together. I tried to kiss her on our second date but she said she was not ready for a relationship. We hang out and cuddle in the couch for hours.She writes me emails every other day telling me about her day; I do the same. I brought up the issue of the cuddling and she said she feel comfortable with me and stuff. She also said that we do not have to do it if I'm not comfortable with it or we might lose a friendship. I did not tell her I like her but I assume she knows. For me it is odd that we cuddle in all positions and she does not want to kiss. I stopped contacting her for a couple of days and my last email was seemingly normal but she sent me an email saying that she sensed in my last email that I wanted some space from her and she understands and to let her know if I still want to get together sometime. I have not answered her yet. I like her, I would like to keep hanging out with her and possibly having a relationship but I'm afraid of being hurt; I guess I seemed distant for that reason. My question is, by the tone of her words, what do you make of her expression above? she seems she does not care. What would you do in my position?Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you AuntHonesty and LolaGiraffe for your answers. So, I talked to her, just to know the truth and so I do not make my life impossible. I asked where we stand and that I like her and she said that she wants to remain as friends. She was very comfortable and nice and the same with me. I told her that I do not do those things with friends and that my life at this stage is a little complicated and because my trip soon, it will not be a good idea to meet, etc. She said OK. I was very nice and acted normal. After the meeting she sent me smss and told me that she sincerely wants to be my friend and things. I do not feel comfortable with that and I really feel she is a player and selfish, although there's a genuine caring on her side. The other night, while lying in the couch, very close, etc, etc, she told me that she is so happy that I'm in her life and that the other days she had missed and she was hugging the teddy bear I had given to her, etc.
Just an update. Thank you again.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Well if I were you I would tell her exactly how you feel about her. You made a move on the second date, which could have been a bit to soon for her, but it sounds now like you have gotten to know her more. I understand you are scared of getting hurt and I dont blame you because you dont know where you stand with this woman, therefore it is time to be clean and honest with her. Tell her exacly how you feel about her, tell her you are scared of getting hurt and that you just dont understand why you both cuddle but it doesnt go any further. Just be completely honest with her and then she will tell you where you stand with her and then you can take it from there. Goodluck and all the best..
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