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female
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*elpmeplz
writes: I don't really know where to start! My life is the worst it has been in a long time, and I feel as though there is no-one out there to help me! A few weeks before Xmas I started to get funny phone calls, anonymous/no speaking etc. Once in half an hour I got 6 calls at 3 in the morning. Although this did not upset me as I know who the crank caller was. Then out of the blue, I got a phone call from my ex's new girlfriend, who has made my life bad since I met my ex, being horrible about him and making sure he wasn't here. I tried to assure her he wasn't, as I hadn't seen him in months. Then I received another call from her 2 nights before Xmas, saying the same again and telling me I was welcome to him. While this was happening, he was round his sister's house, telling her how wonderful I was, and how this other woman isn't. She wanted me to phone him to make sure he was OK, so I did. He was with her and asked to see our 2 children on Boxing day. Then his sister got a call saying he wanted to see them on Xmas day. I agreed, although all of this was just too much for me to take, a lot of hopes and feelings have been revived and now I am back to square one. Things I thought I had got over and I was fine until all of this has happened. His sister was cruel to tell me that he regretted us splitting up and how he wanted to be with me. I feel like I've been part of a cruel joke. I can't stop crying and wish I'd never phoned him. I'm so confused and so down by all of this it is affecting my children. I don't know where to turn or who to believe. All I want is some clarity, as I feel like a huge fog is in my head. I can't seem to snap out of it. Please, can someone help me?
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Shame sweety,
This defineatly isn't easy on you.
The two of you share something really special and irreplaceable, your children. And seeing as this is having an affect on them, send them to your mother for a weekend, and during this weekend, get your Ex over to your place and the two of you put on a pair of boxing gloves(not literally) and just let it all out.
If he claims to feel the way he does then he wouldn't mind.
If you love him fight for him and if he really loves you to then he would fight for you.
Its hard to let all your feelings out, so before he gets there have a glass of wine, it will relax you, but don't have more than that because then he will say it's because you drinking.
Tell him to choose, it's either you or her but you are not going to be fooled around with.
You deserve better than that, and most of all your children don't deserve it.
I think his sister was only trying to help, and she only wants the best for him, and she obviosly feels that you are whats best for him. Take it as a compliment, it's not often that that happens.
After you let it all out, the fog will clear and by the end of that weekend you will either be with him or clear as to where you stand, that you just the mother to his children.
Either way, put your foot down, "it's my way or the highway."
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Purple +, writes (28 December 2005):
I do not really get why you are so depressed. All I read from your question is that ex still cares for you both from the horses's mouth and his sister's. What is wrong with that? The question is now, what you want to to about it. The ball is in your court. You may decide to play the game or ignore it. Either way, it is not your fault. If you still love him, confront him and don't let him play stupid telephone games on you. If you don't love him anymore, the more you should make your stand that he has no right to interfere into your personal life ever again. Stand up for yourself. Don't let such things ruin what you're already trying to make out on your own.
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