A
female
age
36-40,
*loudysunshine
writes:Please someone help me shed some light on why I feel the way I do. I'm 21 and broke up with my bf of five and half years about five months ago. I felt we'd grown apart and also I liked another guy who is my best friend. He promised a lot, and let me down but we are still friends. I dated someone else recently but he used me. I feel so sad all the time, my ex has moved on so fast which he's entitled to do, but I don't feel particularly attracted to anyone atm and have really bad anxiety. I just don't feel myself at all, and was moere independant when I was in a relationship than I do on my own. Has anyone felt like this? Please help, i just feel so down
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I know what you mean. I felt almost empowered when I was with my ex..she gave me energy and confidence..and made me feel very attractive.. More girls hit on me and everything like that. I was on top of the world.My mistake, was I used that power in a reckless way. And realized too late that she had given me alot of it, and could taketh it away..so ever since she was gone...I've felt caged, in a prison of my mind's own making. I know, deep down inside that I could be that person again, but the mind is a funny thing.. and inspiration is necessary and not always at your beck and call.I would suggest you get out and do something..anything. Invest in a hobby, pour your mind into your work, or go out with friends. Just try to avoid solitary thought, it can really mess you up. Just enjoy whoever you happen to be with at the time.
A
female
reader, cloudysunshine +, writes (7 April 2009):
cloudysunshine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, that's so true what your saying but I'm just so used to being with somebody, I feel lost atm. My bf of five years wasn't a player, or my friend that i liked, i tend to favour personality however the guy that i dated recently was tht type but his personality was gud aswell. I just feel a bit fed up :( hopefully my trust will come back eventually. Thanks for your reply x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): hey thereit sounds to me like you have had some bad experiences with guys!you don't need to be in a relationship to be independent its the other way around!your confidence has been crushed by guys using you,iv been in this position so many times, feeling like you need to be in a r/ship..what you need is to not go looking for a r/ship but be single for a while, build your confidence, go and do a new hobby, meet new people, feel valued..no guy will ever respect and value you if you dnt respect and value your self..also you need to look at the guys you choose, are they "bad boys" or "popular guys" ur so used to being used you tend to go for that type of guygood luck xx
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