A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been in contact with a very special old boyfriend who is overseas and wants to come back and see me in January. We have been flirty and I sent him a picture of me in frilly pants to keep him going until then! I would have said he is a "good" man. I sensed nothing odd about him except that he had been very lonely. He responded by sending me a questionnaire about sex which asked whether I would like sex with a black man, or be watched while having sex etc etc. This horrified me and I reacted very badly. He says he is shredded and knew he should not have done it as soon as he sent it but had had too much wine. One of my friends said it looked like a cut and paste from somewhere else. He had very little sex during the last 15 years because of a bad marriage. Perhaps he was being a bit over enthusiatic because of that? Now we are both hurt and I am waiting to see if he emails me again. If he does not I guess it is not a very solid proposition anyway. Any thoughts gladly received.
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female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (5 November 2005):
Hi i think this man has made a drunken mistake, 15 years is a long time to go without being in a serious relationship. He probably sent you the questionnare to find out what you like sexually, as he,s had little experience and does,nt want to let you down. This way he could ask you without admitting that he,s worried about what to do and scared that he wont live up to your expectations.He,s had a bad breakup and is probably a little rusty when it comes to talking to women about his feelings.By the sounds of it you have been friends for a long time and old friends are hard to come by, so don,t throw your friendship away over a silly mistake.If he does,nt email you it's probably because he,s embarrassed and thinks you dont want to know him anymore. So email him tell him he hurt you but your willing to forget about it as long as it never happens again. I think you will find he wont make this mistake again. good luck Lyndseyx
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