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I was a mistake getting involved with this guy, but I'm still hooked on him! What do I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2007)
A female age 30-35, *airhalflin writes:

I'm upset at everything...I shouldn't have had sex with the guy that I liked...it was a mistake. It was a mistake talking to him. I know he didnt want to hurt me...but yet here he is doing it. I'm tired of playing the fool. I'm tired of being nice and smiling when inside I'm screaming. I'm tired of not being able to cry for him and keeping it bottled in. I deleted his nùmber for a reason....he wasnt worth it anymore. Everything he was...I didn't want....everything he had...I've never been able to like....yet here I am stùck between it all. I don't know why I'm hooked on him. I suck it up even if I'm raging....and its not fair. I liked him before we had sex...and it only amplified it even more so. I hate that I'm letting myself yield to my emotions again. I grew up and yet....I act like a little girl around him. I smile when I speak to him...I get happy when I hear him say my name after we hang up...I want to scream so I know I'm alive. I want a release...I want to be okay. I hate him for being so inperfect. I pray it will be okay...and I wonder whether it will be or not. I pray to the heaven's to give me some hope....some news...or some release from this heart of mine that tortùres me. I'm sorry...I can't see him. I can't speak to him because I'll only hurt more. It was a mistake...he was a mistake. I don't know what I'm doing...what should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

I just had a VERY similar situation. I was played. He wanted me to be seen with him. He treated me like a queen when we were together. He said everything I wanted to hear. We had a great time together, wonderful sex. Everything was perfect WHEN we were together. When we were apart, I never heard from him except for the occasional text or call. He could only make plans with me at the last minute. He never answered is phone around me and when I tried getting in touch with him, he would not answer. Later, he would say his phone was dead or he left it in the car, etc. I put two and two together and discovered he was seeing multiple woman at the same time. I was devastated! It hurt so bad. But I did what I had to do. I called it off real quick. I told him that I have more respect for myself than to let any man do this to me. I still hurt. There is just something about this man. I have not called him since the break up. But he has contacted me several times. I think it is a way for him to feel better about what he did. What a player! Best thing to do is to get them OUT of your life. Don't talk to them or respond to any calls, texts, emails that they send. You will eventually get over them. It's not easy. I don't think what happened to me was a mistake. I learned a very valuable lesson from it. I now know what to avoid in looking for my soul mate. Best of luck!

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (17 August 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntRight ok, hun, you know what you did was a big mistake. Here's where you draw a line in the sand and say "It's over."

Realise that everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets hurt by making mistakes in love especially and I think you need to realise that you made a mistake and now it's in the past. There's nothing you can do about it now. Let it lie.

Visualise a train, put him on the train, put everything to do with that guy on the train and wave him off and see that train drive off into the very distance. There is nothing you can do now so live with it. That part of your life is over. Move on and find someone who will respect you and won't just use you like this guy appears to have done. You're worth more than what he did to you arn't you? Look in the mirror and tell yourself - sure you made a couple of mistakes but this guy won't get the better of you now. He's a figment of the past and that is all he needs to be to you if you make him such a small part of your past. You're soo young! you can go and flirt around with guys and have some fun.

Don't let a bastard ruin your life now. He was a mistake. He's in the past. You have a new future and you're own life. He doesn't own you or control your feelings so don't mentally let him do this to you.

Remember you are a person, you have feelings, but if he's in the past - He can't hurt you anymore.

Take care hun xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

Dear broken hearted … I have news flash … it will continue to hurt … u will hate your self and dislike him then like him.. .then hate him then miss him … then want to kill him afterwards feel like hanging urself for being so gullible …

But it’ll pass. Slowly, at first… the depth of ur feelings will slowly … over time become less hurtful… and after some time u’ll feel less .. just less insetnse … until one fine day u’ll get up in the morning and won’t remember him … and when (if) u do .. the feelings will just be neutral .. and the memories will begin to fade … pain goes away … u’ll find someone better the one who really deserves the wonderful u ..

There is really no explanation why he did what he did .. why u did what u did … trust urself that trust that when u made up ur mind to go ahead with the relationship .. the decision that u made was the best decision that could’ve been made at that point in time … in my opinion… u deserve better than some low life who preferred to leave u and ur love .. rather than stay with you …

It sucks… I know .. I’ve been thru this … I want you to go to this website & read it … read it over and over and carefully .. and memorize the parts where it talks about u in the relationship … http://www.committment.com/fagan5.html

TRUST YOURSELF … u’ll get over him …

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