| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Well, I'm from the West indies, but my boyfriend is an Indian Jatt Sikh. We are very much in love and have been for almost two years. The trouble is, his family are strict and don't know of our love just yet, but we plan to tell them next year, by writing a very long and detailed letter hoping they'd understand. Im 16 and my boyfriend is 19, i know he's meant to be married off after uni, but we both love each other too much to let that happen. We only want the best and everyone to be happy. We really hope his family will eventually accept us.However, what I really need help on is what exactly to put in this letter, what to expect, how they'd react (they can be racist), and whether they'd accept us.My boyfriend and I plan to get married and settle down one day, our love is strongThank you, any help would be great! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missm  +, writes (16 January 2009):
i think writing a letter out of the blue is a bad way to tell his parents. I think it is better to hear from the boy himself. I am sikh and understand that parents will be strict on this situation, however hearing the news about their son through a letter would be worse. If you are 100% sure that you want to marry this boy THEN tell his parents. You dont want to be in a situation where by the accept you and 2 years down the line you feel like your being pressured into marriage only because his parents know. Good luck with this and hope it all works out.
A
female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (11 September 2008):
 has he introduced you to them as just a friend yet? instead of writing them a letter out of the blue claiming to be his long-term girlfriend and soul mate, i think it might be smarter to take things step by step! have him invite you over for dinner or to just hang out, just as friends, and see how the family likes you. work their walls down little by little. see if they will ever accept the two of you like that. see if they will treat you differently because of your race. THEN consider writing a letter and figure out what to write!
also, you're only 16. please don't think about marriage just yet! i dated a guy for 2 years in high school and it didn't work out as did many of my friends' long term relationships in high school. college changes a lot of people.
i hope you two stay together, but don't think too far ahead, just in case!
good luck.
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