A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice. I am 21 and my now ex boyfriend is 24. He has graduated and I have another 6 months. My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me over the weekend. It wasn't too much of a shock, as it was something I had considered myself. His reasoning was that he couldn't give me what I wanted - to see each other more often.We live around an hour and 15 minutes away from one another and got to see each other for a small amount of time every 2-3 weeks. Suffice to say, I was not satisfied with this and requested that we try and see each other more often, that we didn't live that far away from each other. At first he agreed with me and started to make plans. Then when he went home, he became uncommunicative - he was mulling the situation over and deducing whether he could give me what I wanted. He phoned me yesterday and said that the timing was not right, that he has been asked to do a lot of shifts at work, that he wants to try and find a job in his chosen career and on top of this he has to do a 17,000 word dissertation before May. I completely sympathise with this and agree, now isn't the time for us, as his priorities lie elsewhere and it also allows me the chance to concentrate on my own studies, without worrying about my relationship.But the truth is, I really like this guy and am hoping that we can reconcile further down the line, when he won't have so many commitments. How should I go about doing it?
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female
reader, bluecow +, writes (21 December 2011):
 I think the problem here is that he really doesnt have much free time, and whilst you say you understand this, you have also been on his case about spending more time together.
His decision to finish things wasnt a new idea to you... you had thought of it yourself as he couldnt fulfil your needs with regards to time.
My only suggestion is that you attempt to remain friendly towards one another, and occasionally meet for a coffee and hang out. Occasionally means less than you were in your relationship.
In 12mo, you may both have new careers, be less stressed and have more free time to devote to a relationship. I dont have a crystal ball so I cant tell whether this will be together, but I suspect not. I think you will probably both be friends but that the romance is now over.
xx
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