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male
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*hristiaan
writes: Hi i have recently split up with my wife,i realise where i have gone wrong and would like to be with her again, but she wont speak to me. I love my wife very much and would love to her to give me another chance. If you think you maybe able to help me,please leave a message and i will try to reply. Many thanks for taking time out to read this....
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): Rebuilding a marriage takes time...a long, long time but it can be done. While you don't say what your reasons are for splitting up-it appears you have done some serious work on yourself and you now take accountability for your role in the destruction of this relationship. Marriage and family is a place for compromise, integrity, and caring. So if I were you, I would, write her a letter. When someone describes his marriage as you briefly did here, I think one makes a good final effort. I think it is a good exercise to list out the reasons that you were stuck and what you have done to make positive changes to your way of thinking. The process of getting her to work with you to rebuild this marriage, may take a a long time..so be prepared to hunker down and work hard at this. You have to re-establish trust and respect once again and that won't happen overnight. In addition, it's crucial you treat your wife with the compassion and patience you have developed to get throught this tough time. Writing her a letter is not a guaranteed method, but it is a possibility to opening up the communication channels. Take it one step at a time. Once you do communicate and she responds...you and she should seriously consider marriage counselling. There also are marriage building and marriage saving intensive workshops available for couples at the end of their tether. I wish you the best of luck and take care
Hugs, Irish
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 December 2005):
 Not enough info here. What caused the separation?
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