A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My guilt is causing me to be unable to move forward in my life. Currently I live with my mother who is divorced and has been for quite some time (since I was in the 3rd grade). A few years back she became sick and is currently doing better but who knows when it will return. I feel like I'm at a crosshair, I bought a house a few years back and have even been unable to move into it over feeling like I'm abanding my family. It would be so much easier if my family wasen't dysfunctional and my parents weren't divorced but that isn't the case. I wan't to move forward and its not like I'd be a million miles away (20 miles away). Needless to say this has caused problems in my dating life as well. I just can't seem to get over the guilt associated with it. Maybe some of you could shed some light on the subject...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): Free yourself of guilt that should not be with you. Your Mum should encourage you to move forward in life...who knows when her illness will return ? hopefully never...and this is how you should move forward...
The self Martyrdom is how you suffer.. self-sacrifice and you need to stop....guilt no place for it.
Go live in your home and have fun it is not a sin to enjoy yourself...your mothers needs will be met...and remember the more you do for her will actually disable her....
If she needs help...care workers can be arranged..it does not mean you don't love her, stop feeling guilty when you don't have to.
Spunky Monkey
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I feel similar about my family. If I'm not in the room, everyone is always going at it about this or that...I feel like I'm an effin peacekeeper all the time, which effects my social life. If I go out, I end up feeling guilty knowing something's going on at home. So I end up staying in a lot.
I'm starting to think the only way to actualy live is to say 'eff it', powerthrough, do the things I want to do, and check in once and a while. If everyone in my family could live normally before I was born, they can do the same now.
If I were you, I'd move into the new place and drop by once everyday for a while (maybe an hour or a bit more) and then go on doing the things you want to do. In time, as you preoccupy your mind with other concerns, the guilt should pass.
All the best my friend!
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