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I want to hurt my husband with words the way that he hurts me!

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Question - (29 May 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2013)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband always says harsh words to me which make me feel worthless and they stay in my mind for a long time. He says words which belittle me and make me feel worthless. Anytime I give an opinion or request he jus turns it down so harshly. When he hurts me and i try to tell him he threatens me and says even more harsh words. How can i deal with this. I am stressde. I feel i would want to say somethng to hurt him also but i never have such words

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (29 May 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou and he can take to beating up on one-another until there's nothing left of either of you..... OR...

ONE of you (I suggest, you!), can say: "This isn't going anywhere. I'm going to simply disappear from this jerk's life, and make a life - a PLEASANT life - of my OWN, without him in it...." Then.... do that....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Mariab United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2013):

Mariab agony auntYou should not stoop to his level and commence belittling people and saying mean and hurtful things. This way he has won by turning you into him! You should try counseling and if that fails then maybe you need to draw a line and just tell him straight that he needs to think about you in a more positive way and talk to you with the respect you deserve or else it can't work and you will leave! He needs to get a grip of himself! Good luck hun and never believe the things mean and hurtful people say! You deserve love and respect! xxx

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (29 May 2013):

If he's anything like me there isn't much you could say, because I don't let someone else dictate my self worth.

That being said I do get angry when people try to. So the best thing you could do is try and fix the problem instead of making it worse.

While it may be tempting to get revenge on him you should start communicating with him. Tell him that the way he talks to you hurts your feelings and makes you feel....... Ask him if that's how he wants you to feel. If he does, why? If not then please stop. Think of a way to remind him at the time he's doing it so that he recognizes it and corrects the situation.

If he simply refuses to listen to reason, it may be time to consider counseling.

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