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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my partner for 18 years. I no longer love him and want to leave him, but he emotionally blackmails me with suicide.How do i tell him I'm leaving and how to end our relationship? I've had enough. All I want is to be on my own and bring my son up, without him.I feel bad because I know I'm going to break his heart. Please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): Sounds like you have both danced this same waltz for a long time. This man is manipulating you through fear, obligation and guilt. His unreasonable demands and manipulations are likely making you feel insecure, fearful, guilt-ridden and generally bad about yourself and that is emotionally abusive. You need to call him out, on his behaviours. Perhaps the next time, he threatens this you could say to him "I will not be subjected to your emotional blackmail any longer-I am done with that. I can't prevent what you might do. It won't be my fault and and I refuse to take responsibility for what you do to yourself. I'm sorry that you feel so much pain that you think this is the only viable option. Would you like some professional help?" Have the phone number of a family counselling service ready for him and hand him the number. He's controlling you and you are taking your power back, hun. Your husband, who is wrestling control & beating your soul and breaking down your will with emotional blackmail has to understand the huge damage and pain that is being caused to you and your child. For the sake of your child who is your #1 priority. If you do leave, warn a family member or a trusted friend of what he has threatened..so someone can be with him and do a "suicide watch" just in case. Alerting His family to his state of mind might be what he needs to be persuaded to get professional help. Take care and be strong, dear
Hugs, Irish
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