A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would love to find some one for my friend. One of my best friends is turning 30 this year, and I would love to help him find some one special. He keeps waiting and it seems like he just wants some one to just show up, he won't put any effort into finding some one. I have tried to set him up with people, but now I am out of girls for him to meet. And everyone that knows him has tried. How do I help him open up, and take a chance. He is getting older, and with no experience with women, i don't think he is ever going to find some one.he hasn't had a girl friend in over 10 years, and hasn't been with any one else since then, heck he wasn't with anyone before that. As a girl myself, that would scare me off.I don't even see how it is possible to be alone that long.Since I'm not a guy, and married myself, I'm not sure where to go to pick girls up.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 March 2009):
Oh hun, you sound like a really nice person, and I know you want him to be happy. We all want our friends to be happy.
But deep down, you can't FORCE happiness on him. If he is scared of something and that is stopping him from putting effort in to finding a girl, then NOTHING you do will matter. He'll always find a way to sabotage himself so he doesn't have to face his fear.
Think of it like this: He wants to win the lottery but won't go to the shop to buy a ticket. If the reason for this is that he's scared of crossing the road, then it's no good you trying to give him directions to different shops. He's going to be scared of crossing those roads too, and until he admits that and gets over it, you can list all the shops in the world and he still won't buy a ticket.
Even if you go and buy one for him, he still won't be able to cash it in as he'll have to cross the road to do that too.
Talk to him and ask him why he's not willing to try.
Give him a kick up the arse and tell him to stop feeling so bloody sorry for himself as it's pathetic and getting boring.
Good Luck!! xx
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