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male
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anonymous
writes: im in love with my friend she is 31 im 43 i use to be with her sister at first we were just friends but it turned into love on my part i told her how i felt and she said that we could not see each other as her mother would not be happy but i still get on with her family but not my ex . who i have a son with, my friend and i are really close even after i told her but i get some clues thst she wants more but does not want to upset her family. i dont know what to do next as i think she has feelings for me but wont say help ! any advice would help
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 Your friend may well like you and have feelings for you, but it seems she is not prepared to upset her family or her sister, your ex, by acting on her feelings and you have to respect that.
You have said you don't get on with your ex, so if you get together with her sister I hardly think she will be O.K. with it, she will probably feel betrayed and try to get the rest of her family onside, your friend has probably thought about the risk of hurting her family and has choosen not to.
I'm sure though, if she's not bothered what her family thinks and has feelings for you she will tell you in her own time, you have told her how you feel, now you have to wait and see what she makes of it. Don't pressurize her into making a decision and accept whatever it is knowing that she is in a difficult position and has a lot of people to consider when making her mind up.
Good luck!
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 You have have already told her how you feel and now all you can do is respect how she responds to that information.
You have already dated one of her family members. The family already knows you as that other person's ex and now she has to figure out how she wants to fit into that.
It is her family, and it is her relationship with them. You need to honor that relationship and take your cues from her. If she ever wants to pursue this relationship with you she will let you know. If you push it, she will most likely retaliate and that will end the friendship or any chance of her working it out.
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