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*ordSaix
writes: I've got an ex-girlfriend who I have been on and off with for a few years. She's got an ex who was abusive before I came along, so its been a challenging relationship getting her to trust me. Over long or short, we are now apart and she wants to get back together, I don't though. She did some stuff to me that is just unforgivable (she told me we were on a break, then was with another guy within a few days) things of that nature. I've told her this but its like she just doesn't get it. She also says she doesn't trust me, because during the time she was with this other guy, I put up a personal ad, assuming it was over with us, we got back together briefly afterwards, I regret doing so. Bottom line is I want her as a friend now and that's it, and no matter how many ways I tell her I want just that she tries to worm her way back into my life. What can I do? I don't wanna hurt her feelings, even though she deserves it.Josh in MI
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2006): you need to keep telling her that you only want to be friends and if i were you i would cut all contact with her for a while she will eventually get over it - i was in the same situation my ex boyfriend didnt want me and i kept ringing him and doing things to get him back and he always gave in but he never gave me his heart and treated me like shit and i wasted 13 years of my life doing this and i wish that he had cut off contact along time ago instead of being my friend when i wanted more - it would have saved alot of heartache - you have to be cruel to be kind in this situation is for the best
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reader, LordSaix +, writes (1 July 2006):
LordSaix is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been kinda keeping to that tactic for a while now, sticking to my guns but its just hard. I still have feelings there but I know that she's not the one for me... I know I need to change that and get involved with someone else. You are right though, sticking to my guns would be great
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reader, sammie +, writes (1 July 2006):
 hya josh well the only thing i can suggest is that you stay away for a while not in a horrible way but if she is still having these feeling for you then it is best to stay clear ntill she gets over it then you might be able to be friends then it is hard these situations just dont give her wrong signals and stick to your guns aslong as that it what you really want i hope this helps samx
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