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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I have admired this girl for a year now, and I finally spoke to her a few days ago. Im in love with her. I told her and I think it freaked her out. I need to know what to do because I'm so attatchd to her now... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Mushy movies to the contrary, going up to a girl and telling her "I love you" when you don't even know her isn't going to win her heart. In fact, it's *always* going to have the effect of making her nervous.
I know that you wanted to say something romantic, but it probably came across to her as "Hi. I'm a bit unhinged and I've been stalking you."
You can't fall in love with someone when you don't know them, and all you've done is talk to her... once.
Real love comes from knowing a person intimately, understanding them and their dreams, accepting their faults... and it usually grows best from friendship. What you have for her is probably physical attraction, lust and desire. That's different, and the girl knows this instinctively. That's why she freaked.
You need to take a big mental step back. You can't love someone that you only look at. That's like falling in love with a billboard.
If you want anything to develop between you, then take whatever opportunities you can to get to know her better, preferably in a group of friends. Don't be so blinded by your desire that you make her uncomfortable (this is where you are now). Put your attraction on the back-burner, and enjoy getting to know her as a friend, instead.
From there, I wish you luck in romance. Just don't expect her to automatically feel the same way you do. Life and Love aren't like that, unfortunately.
A
female
reader, sam12344321  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 hi, firstly i think most women would get a little freaked out as they new nothing about it, they might think that your a stalker or something like that, but you say your in love with her? this can happen, try explaining everything to her, start by saying i dont want you to get freaked out but..... then tell her your feelings, you could get to know this girl better, hope this helps a little, good luck
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