A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel I will never measure up to other girls who always get boyfriends, nice guys and jerks want to go out with these. People tell me I should improve on how I look but I can't. I am not very feminine. I look awful. I don't like going to the hairdessers, my hair is scruffy, my face is fat, small fat hands, guys just take me seriously and I don't know why, they take other girls seriously and asked them out, but I get ingored and rejected.Guys take other girls seriously but not me. All becasue I am fat and short with a chubby face. I am size 16 I've tried hundreds of times to lose weight but I can't.I feel any improvement I make will go in vain. No guy notices unless it's to make a smart remark or to treat me like a child. I am 29 years old.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Experiment with different looks, and clothes. But be yourself! PrivateGuy got it exactly right. Work on your self esteem, and confidence. And sometimes it takes as little as a new hairdo, or a new fashion to get you motivated.
You will find someone out there for you!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Mushgirl  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 Size 16 really isn't much overwieght. Honestly, I know plenty of not-so-skinny girls who get boyfriends, it's not about that. I hate going to the hairdressers' too, I cut my hair myself but nobody seems to care. And small hands are good! Honestly, it's considered feminine to have small hands. I am not feminine either. I wear army boots and I have a mohican, and that doesn't seem to put guys off.
Anyway! You don't have to be an Angelina Jolie lookalike to be very attractive. So long as you look relatively hygienic, I doubt it's your looks that are a problem. I know guys like hot girls, but seriously, that's not all they go for at all. I mean, when you find a guy attractive, you don't just go for their looks, right?
I know you've probably been told this before, and there will probably be a lot of aunts telling you this, but you need to work on your self esteem more than anything. Honestly. Get some clothes that make you feel awesome, get a haircut that's easy to maintain so you don't have to go to the hairdressers', and most of all work on your confidence. Go out. Force yourself to chat to men. And if you don't succeed at first, well at least you'll have a bit more experience, which will help you be more confident in the future.
A couple of years ago I had pretty much zero self esteem. I had no idea what kind of stuff I liked to wear, I had long straggly hair that I couldn't make look good no matter what I did, I had bad skin and my make-up looked like permanant marker. And no, I didn't get any guys. None. So I dreadlocked my hair (THAT got me a lot of positive male attention, surprisingly!), I bothered to find something to treat my skin and I got some new cheap 'n' cheerful makeup. Within a couple of months I felt great and I met lots more guys who for once found me attractive! If I can do it, you can! I really wish you good luck, I know how horrible it is to feel like a troll all the time. But it can be done! xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Your problem is not how you look but how you act and percieve how you look! Try life coaching sessions or positive thinking therapy to help you to get a better outlook on life. Once you are happy with the way you are, then men will start to be attracted to you for who you are. Even the most stunning girls will be ignored in the long run if they have depressive personalities! :P
The best thing to help yourself will be to change your outlook on life! :) good luck!
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