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male
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*obLikes01
writes: I been going out with my gf for a year but every time we try to have sex i cannot get hard. Is that something to be worried about? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 July 2006):
 Just a few thoughts:
Do you get erections at other times, such as in the mornings? Do you have any similar problems when masturbating?
If you wake up with erections, and you can get hard for masturbation, then your barrier is likely to be a psychological one, such as feeling inadequate, nervous, rushed, guilty etc.
If you never get hard, then you may actually have a physical problem to overcome, and I'd say get a referral from your doctor to a urologist.
Provided you can get erections for sexual activities other than penetrative sex, why not explore other options, such as oral sex, and see if that helps?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): I am no doctor of any kind by any means.
Have you thought to see your famiy doctor about this?
There are many factors at play and I don't think it's unhealthy; it is just a symptom of something else.
The best start is with your Family doctor. If it is a physical barrier then he can guide you to the right medical aid. If it is a mental barrier, again, he can give you a referal to someone who is more able to help you.
Either way, there is help.
Best of luck.
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