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anonymous
writes: About 8 months ago by boyfriend had a one night stand with another girl. I forgave him and we have now been going out for a year. The girl was, at the time, one of his friends but after this happened I told him never to talk to her again, and I was completly under the impression that he wouldn't. Then I found a picture online of him and her with a gang of other people and she had written that they hung out toeghter all the time in that group. I asked him about it and he admitted it, but now I feel like I can't trust him anymore and it makes me so sick to think that they are still friends! It was so hard to trust him again after what he did but I was just managing to. Now all of that trust had fallen to peices as he has lied to me for months. Should I end it now and just move on, as it seems I never really will be able to forget about this girl, or stay with him because I love him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): Well sweetie you are understanding lady......However the fact that he lied to you and you found pics of them together agian.....How the hell can you ever trust him with anything......Good Luck
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):
Honey, you answered your own question.You can never trust this scoundrel again.You will never forget about his affair with that girl.He lies to you & sneaks around behind your back.Now that you KNOW the truth...let it set you free.Grab hold of your inner strength & let it propel you forward...time will heal your wounds & you will love again.There is an old saying, "Fool me once...shame on you. Fool me twice..shame on me."You forgave him the one night stand & YOU KNOW he did it again...so now you have to RESPECT YOURSELF enough to end the relationship & get on with your life.It will hurt for awhile, but a little pain now is much better than ALOT of pain in the future.Run sweetie...Run !
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2005): I don't see this going anywhere. He obviously does not want to end the other relationship. You might do what you should have done at the beginning of your relationship as lovers. Sit down and have a long, frank, and detailed talk about sex, and what you like, what you like to do to your partner, what you like him to do to you. etc. Do this with your clothes on, and somewhere like a restaurant on a slow day where you can have some privacy, but not enough to jump him if you get too aroused ! ( most people find this is the most erotic thing they have done to date !) Ask him about his sexual relationship with her. What does she do for him that you don't?? Maybe you can learn something. He will be awed that you would ask, and really want to know. That could change his feelings about you very quickly. Listen, and ask more questions. Guys are no better than women at talking about sex, and they don't know what turns them on any more than women do. Much of this is learned by trial and error. So, at the end of the "what- I- like "conversation, you also need to talk to lovers about what I have never done, but would be interested in trying with the right person. My wife had never been on top during sex, so I took care of that the very first time we made love. She loved it, and the control she had, and rolling over so that she could be on top became a regular, if not constant, part of our lovemaking. By learning how to climb aboard, she also gained the confidence to initiate sex in the morning, when I was not awake, or just beginning to awake. ( A Hard Cock is a terrible thing to waste !) That was one of the minor things she had not tried, which we then did during our relationship. We established a concrete level of trust by knowing that we could say and do anything to each other without worrying about rejection. At one point, she put my hand on her pussy, and pushed a finger in her vagina, and told me that she belonged to me, and I could have her anytime I wanted. Now, let some other woman compete with that ! ( I also " gave " her my family jewels " and carte blanche.) I am happy to say that we took advantage of each other as often as we could, and made a lot of people nervous being around us because we were so obviously in love, whispering to each other, and laughing all the time. When people asked us what we were talking about, we would simply say, " Sex !", with a smile and another laugh. Like so many people, they just couldn't fathom what there was about that subject to talk to about all the time. You either have it or you don't. YOu may not be able to save the relationship with your BF, but you can learn from its failure. It is not up to you to decide who he likes better. It is his decision, and his alone. It is hard to find someone you are attracted to, and who cares for you. But not impossible. Enjoy the activities you like and meet people who share a like for those activities. You have something in common, and that will go along way to making dating a success. If you are into " quickies ", then go ahead and have sex with partners you don't really know. However, if you are interested in a more permanent relationship, get to know the person, and allow him to better know you before the romantic encounters cloud both of your judgments. I know people who met when they were young, and one or both were too young to be ready for marriage. Years later, after failed relationships, they met again, fell in love, and married successfully. Time was both their enemy and their ultimate ally. Don't burn bridges. phv
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reader, helpfull girl +, writes (17 June 2005):
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU THIS IS JUST MY OPINION EVERY BODY HAS FRIENDS BUT WHEN THEY'VE SLEPT WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND REMAIN FRIENDS AFTER THEIR GOING TO KEEP DOING IT ILL TELL YOU STRAIGHT TELL HIM 2 KEEP AWAY FROM HER OR ITS OVER AND U MEAN IT! EXPLAIN WHY! AND IT MAY BE EASY 2 SAY IT RATHER THAN DO IT! FIND YOUR SELF ANOTHER MAN IF HE DOESNT LISTEN 1 WHO U CAN TRUST! BECAUSE I GARANTEE YOU THEY HAVE OR ARE SLEEPING 2GETHER STILL
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reader, oneshyhunni +, writes (17 June 2005):
Well sweety youre in a position a lot of women find hemselves in. What you need is what my mamma use to call P.H.W.R.Y time (punish him while rewarding yourself time) to think it all through. If I was you I would put his cheating but through the wringer for about 7 weeks. And if he doesnt straighten up or you still dont trust him then kick him to the curb. Make him spoil you and get all those little odd jobs done around the house. If you want a doughnut at 11 o'clock at night and he says no just run a guilt trip on him. Note: this only works for about 7 weeks and you cant use it everyday during the 7 weeks or it gets old. This gives you time to clear your head, torture him, and get whatever you want for a while.
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