A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with this guy for eleven years. About two years ago he told me that he was absolutly in love with me. It scared the crap out of me cuz he sent me messages saying I'll love you until death. And I will always love you no matter what and it got really bad so I decided to call him and tell him. He knows I dont't feel that way about him by a long shot but he NEVER gives up. I don't know what to do I thought I could handle it by ignoring his love for me and focusing on our friendship. It didn't work and now he says stuff like I would die without you in my life. And he has been going to a group about him cutting himself so I thought it was getting better but he called me one night (after I posted on my myspace that my boyfriend finaly kissed me) and said that it hurt so bad he has four new cuts just for me. I slammed the phone shut and ignored the rest of his calls. I cried all night. I don't know what to do he is vunerable and if my current relatoinship continues it will hurt him more( he once asked me to brake up with my bf and I told him no, then the next day his mom told me he was taking more group classes ) but I WILL NOT BRAKE UP with my bf for him. I feel terrible and don't know what to do plz plz help!
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female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Poor girl.
Listen, you are NOT responsible for this guy. You are NOT the reason he can't handle his own emotions, and ends up cutting himself. That is such a silly way to get attention, and it really does not make anyone feel better. I know we all deal with emotions in different ways, but you are not responsible for the way he chooses to deal with his...
If his mom is aware of his problem, then i think you need to speak to her. I know this guy is your friend, and that you worry about him, so i think you need to have a deep discussion with his mom - without him knowing - and ask her to get him some help.
And as hard as it might be, you need to turn your head. It is not good to show him you care - because he cannot see the difference between you caring for him as a friend, and LOVE.
Not at the moment at least.
It will be really tough for you. Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? Because he will need to support you through this.
Even if the worst happens, and he does something serious to himself, it will still NOT be your fault. We are in charge of our own emotions. We are the ones who create our own future's and this guy friend of yours is really in need of some serious HELP. Professional HELP.
I can see it is hard for you to deal with this, but i will state once again, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You need to live your life, and stop this guy from having an effect on you.
I know it sounds cold and hard, but you are no good to someone if you are all torn up inside.
Love yourself enough to walk away from this situation.
Good luck - i will be thinking of you. PLEASE be safe, and look after yourself.
Love & Light
M
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