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female
,
anonymous
writes: hey i have a big problem! well there's this guy that i'm kind of going out with. He just recently broke up with his ex-girlfriend not too long ago and then he came to me and we're going out. Well the thing is that i don't know the real story on how they broke up but all i know is that they've been going for like 7 months and i still feel like he wants her back. I feel like crap cuz he still talks to her and still likes her. What should i do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): ...I'm unfortunately going through a similar problem. My boyfriend, or my exboyfriend shall we say, broke up with me after a month because he realized he still had feelings for his ex girlfriend of about 6 months. The originially drifted away and he never really had a chance to get over her, just went into denial. He let himself care about me, but now he's having to hurt me.
All I can say is if this guy isn't decent enough to break up with you when he knows he still has feelings and is risking hurting you, then he certainly isn't worth your time. Because from my experience, girls tend to get more attatched.
I think he may have a problem 'letting go'. Sometimes they use anger or go into denial to go numb about the person they used to really care about because they just don't know how to let go. Unfortunately, those feelings can come back.
Don't toy around with it.
It isn't worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I would have some guidelines here. There is nothing wrong with them being friends but any closer and then it has to stop. If he keeps on talking about her when you two are together then can you just ask him to tone it down, keep it short and sweet. You don't want your dates to be an ex appreciation night! Let him know exactly how you feel. If you still can't stand it then get rid.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 hi there
i think u need to make peace with that, maybe in that 7mths they built up a friendship as well and they had a very civil break-up im sure u are still in good terms with some of ur exs, as long as he doesnt cross the line and she doesnt make nasty comments when u passby i dont see why u should worry, but if its getting out of hand tell him how u feel in a more mature approach im sure he will take ur feelings into consideration u deserve that kind of respect. if u are just feeling insecure about all this then stop blowing things out of propotion he is with u now so u can take controll of the situation. good luck
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