A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I have known my boyfriend for a year. He has a son of 7. The child was diagosed with ADHD. He told me he was very upset to hear that his ex wife, when asked about the family history, had replied yes to psychological disorders from his side of the family but he was not sure why. He didn't attend the assessment himself I think the wife preferred to go on her own, but that is not what this is about. I did some research and he does have a lot of the symptoms of adult ADHD. So, do I tell him my thoughts or not? If I do he may become very angry that I even suggested it, but if I don't he could miss out on potentially helpful treatment. And I think the problems he has and a lot of behavior could be explained by ADHD.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): Yes tell him but realize you're not a doctor so you can't be sure. Therefore what you should tell him is along the lines of you think he might have ADHD and you think he should go see a doctor to check if this is the case or not.
15 years ago my mom thought my younger cousin (then a kid) had ADHD and told the parents, who got angry. Well now my cousin is finishing college and both she and her parents openly accept that she has ADHD which is why she has had difficulty in college.
So don't expect that your bf will agree with you or welcome the info. And if he doesnt then you should drop the issue. But you should still put it out there. He may get upset and deny but in the future he may remember and consider it if it lines up with his other personal experiences.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 IF he is about your age and he has ADHD it's HIGHLY likely it would have been caught in school.... IF he was never diagnosed as a child then an adult diagnosis would be difficult as you can't ACQUIRE ADHD nyou have to be born with it.
I HATE that folks take these online assessments and say that they have ADHD... I have ADHD and was diagnosed back in the 60s when it was not as well understood and it was called Minimal Brain Dysfunction having just been upgraded from Minimal Brain DAMAGE!
Almost EVERYONE has ADHD like symptoms now and then... AND there are many symptoms that are internal that you could not even begin to assess for him.
Yes ADHD can be genetic... but no one in my family before me was ever ADHD or had those behaviors... my brother has a learning disability but NO ADHD.
I have two sons.. now your age. One with ADHD-combined and one with ADHD-primarily inattentive. To see him you would never know that he has ADHD at all. Neither he or I react well to medications for ADHD so we both remain unmediated and functioning just fine.
ADHD folks have issues with more than just attention. They also have inter-personal skill issues and relationship issues as well as money management and other financial issues.
Only a skilled and trained therapist, doctor, social worker or other professional in the field can evaluate properly for ADHD.
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