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I think I'm becoming gay and it is stressing me out a lot!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2009)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone, I am a extremely paranoid person. I used to think I was getting cancer and that I had breathing problems. But now it has become a different thing. I think I'm becoming gay.

I keep thinking I'm becoming gay and it is stressing me out a lot. I don't find girls attractive anymore but I don't find boys attractive either. I'm only 14, and it could be hormones. But it's weird that I don't find girls attractive.

I have nothing against gays, I just want to live a normal life. When I grow up I wanted to have kids and a family, but with all this I think it will make me miserable. I'm also very scared of what other people will think, including my family. If I told them I was gay I'd lose the support of them, and make me an embarrassment in their eyes. Help me please! Any advice would be great.

Thanks!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009):

I wouldn't worry too much, it probably is just hormones. I'm fifteen and I thought the same thing for a while about myself because I was somewhat attracted to several guys, until I realized that I just wanted to go out with one of my friends, who is a girl.

So it's likely just hormones. And even if you are gay, there's no shame in it. Everybody is different. Hope this helps!

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A male reader, confusedguy1 Australia +, writes (23 September 2009):

confusedguy1 agony auntJust forgot about the boys and don't think about them , u still young and its early for this .. you would find a good girl for you sooner or later and you would like her

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009):

Hi, you are still very young and making the decision whether you are gay or straight is immaterial and unimportant, it may be your hormones or stress of your exams which I assume you are working towards.

If you want to be sure you must ask yourself who you get more of a buzz from when you're with them, spending time with girls or boys.

All people are attracted to girls and boys in different ways, for example, if you find a girl attractive for their hair eyes or smile etc, boys you may be drawn too might wear similar clothes to you have similar tastes in music, we are all drawn to people in many different ways

Hope this helps

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A female reader, love-struckxo Canada +, writes (4 September 2009):

love-struckxo agony auntMaybe you just havent found the right girl.

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

you are too small to asses your self as gay and all that.if you dont find girls attractive that doesnt mean you are gay.you said you dont find guys attractive either then it is cent percent proof that you arent gay

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

OK, the first thing you have to do is chill. Take deep breaths. Chill. Nothing bad is happening just at this moment.

You're quite right, hormones are happening, big time. It's incredibly difficult to come to terms with those hormones. They're there, they're overwhelming. It happens to all of us, man. Just get a grip.

There are going to be moments when you think about being with a guy. Hey, it happens, and at this point in your life guys are less scary than girls. And a lot more accessible. If some stuff happens with guys, fine, no big. Chances are it's just experimenting. You don't have to tell the world you're gay.

Just now you don't have to tell the world anything. Give it some time. In a while a girl might come along that works for you. The hormones might kick in that way too.

Don't stress. In the next year or two stuff's gonna happen. After you get through that, then you can sweat about your future. Chances are very good that if you want to marry a girl and have kids it will happen.

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