A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey , i ve been married for 3 months now and have known my husband for 8 yrs .. . but suddenly i feel so distant from my husband .. i feel he is ignoring whatever i say .. he is so caught up in his own world and he is so distant.. he is a very nice man otherwise and defiitely not cheating on me or anything ... i dont even feel like i know him anymore ... after a fight he will never make up even if i try to .. he says he is too hurt and he needs time to recover from it .. and he says he doesnt care how i feel bcoz of that . im feeling extremely depressed with this situation .. what do i do ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey again .. after reading ur replies i had a long talk with him ... we sorted out a few things .. it seems even he felt i was being distant .. so its being sorted out now :) .. so we ve decided to start afresh :) so lets see how things go .. thank u guys ! it definitely helps to get a 3rd person perspective instead of drowning in ones own misery !
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Did you feel ever like this before you got married? If not, maybe being married is a bit overwhelming for him, it's a major step in life. And, you don't say what your fights are about, if they're over serious issues, then that's a problem, but if they're about minor stuff then I wouldn't worry so much, he's probably just being a typical male, (they don't see the need to kiss and make up over small stuff - they're really good at taking the wife for granted and that's the yuchy part of being married). As far as feeling like you don't know him any longer, that's quite a big thing in such a short marriage, that usually takes years to happen. Sounds like he feels he's won his woman and it no longer needs any effort. Might be up to you to rattle his chain and make him realise that you're not happy with his attitude. If you're not happy now, think about what it might be like in ten years! :) X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): i think you should let him know how you feel without arguing, if you cannot get your point across, write him a letter and let him see your feelings in black and white. Remember he could be just as frustrated as you are, maybe him needed time out to recover from arguments is his way of saying he does not want to argue any more.
You guys have only been married for such a short time, you should still be in your honey moon period and enjoying married life. Maybe you both had too many high expectations of what you thought marriage was, and maybe a little disapointed, getting married does not make a relationship work if there was problems there before, it dont fix things, you should talk through with your husband how you are feeling. And if he wont listen then write him a letter, that way he can read it and deal with it when his ready too. As him to do the same, to write you a reply on how he is feeling. Try and get you both talking openly and honestly to each other.
Good Luck
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