A
male
age
36-40,
*awguy170
writes:Should I contact my ex on her birthday? She text/called me and even took me out, but that was about three months after our 3 year relationship ended. It's been closer to 5 months since we last spoke now (in may) and 10 months since we broke up. I still think about her and miss her too. Is that ok? Or should I be done with that by now? Sometimes I think she was the love of my life and wonder what happened.
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male
reader, lawguy170 +, writes (11 October 2010):
lawguy170 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionToday is the day. I was thinking about my motives and I wouldnt say it is to get her back, but I think I want her to know I am still here. I feel like it is the right think to do and want to break down the barriers and open up communication at se time in the future. Is this a good idea?
A
male
reader, lawguy170 +, writes (4 October 2010):
lawguy170 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer and update a little bit: I don't really know why we ended up breaking up, there were many different reasons, none of them really feel right (It was always about me, I was too busy, I never took her out, ect). I don't one hundred percent think that any of these are particularly valid, but I had just started law school (she wanted to go, but didn't get in, there was def. some jealousy). We haven't talked bc she said she didn't think we should talk anymore. I had stayed away and not talked to her, but she started calling wanting to hang out, so I did. She told me she wasn't over me, then about two weeks later, cancels on me and is in a relationship with her best guy friend. They had started dating the week after we broke up, and she basically was seeing him, but still talking, and other stuff with me, until this point. I know and feel the right thing to do is to just man up and contact her. We dated for three years, she told me she wished I had proposed before law school, and she still and always will mean so much to me. I can't tell you my motives, bc I don't know them. I still envision us together, but I'm not sure whether I could get back with her and still be confident in myself, it would really be a mixed decision. Thanks,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): call or txt her to say happy birthday and anonymously send her favorite flowers to her. shell know its you and it sends a strong message of how you still feel. you got nothing to lose man
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): You should definitely wish her a happy birthday, especially if you still think about her and miss her 10 months later! Chances are she might be thinking the same things. If you still think of her as the love of your life then maybe it's not over between you two, and you just needed time to grow and experience different things before your paths crossed again. You don't want to regret it if you pass up this opportunity to contact her again.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Well, a little happy birthday message wouldn't hurt. The most I'd get her would be a card. Anything more would likely illicit questions.
Maybe you should be done with this by now, but at the same time a 3 year relationship is difficult to move on from. I still think about some of my exes on their birthdays even though it's been years since a breakup.
I wouldn't fish for any info about what she's doing. Just wish her a happy birthday and be done.
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