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I seem to misunderstand my boyfriend often and keep annoying him...

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2005)
A , *ig144 writes:

This morning, I hugged and kissed my boyfriend as usual before I left for work. He said sometimes he thinks he is just my pet.

This upset me very much. He told me a while ago that he loved to be stroked. I feel very upset that I have annoyed him. I seem to annoy him aclot but I never mean to.

What shall I do? If I stop being affectionate, will he be happy?

I tried talking to him last night, how was his day, what did he do, and he said he couldn't be bothered to tell me.

I am extremely worried.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2005):

Wendyg agony auntOkay time to take a reality check.

Why should you sit there worrying all the time if you have upset him ? You either get him to tell you whats up or you walk away. He is being very horrid to you in that one minute he tells you that he likes to be stroked, and the next hes telling you off for being too affectionate. Kissing someone before you leave the house is not unusual, I do it all the time, the same as when I get home, its just something that couples do.. You dont say how long you have been together ? Perhaps you have just grown apart... it sounds as though he doesnt really want to be with you ? if he doesnt even want to sit and talk to you about his day because he cant be bothered! It seems that what ever you do you will always be in the wrong. The fact that you feel you are annoying him all the time is because he is being unreasonable.

If he loved and cared for you, then it wouldnt act in this way, moaning at you for kissing him goodbye, refusing to talk to you. The only other explantion, is that he could have a stress coming from elsewhere and thats causing him to be so annoyed, and hes venting it out on you.. If this is the case you need to found out what it is so that he will stop venting it at you, we all tend to take things out on the ones we are closest to without realising... You do need to talk to him and ask what it is that annoys him so much, the main thing though, is YOU, if your feeling like Cr*p now, its only going to get worse unless you talk. Tell him how your feeling, that you are afraid that anything you do is going to annoy him and that you would like to discuss how you can make it work. If he refuses to talk, then you will have to tell him that your not prepared to be treated the way you are and unless he changes his "cant be bothered" attitude, you dont have a future. But do try to get to the bottom of it in case he has got something going on, thats causing stress. If there isnt anything and he wont tell you whats up, or stop making you feel so awful, then you will have no choice but to move on and find someone that will treat you with respect.

Good luck

Take care

X x

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