A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, ill start with the good stuff :)Well, im a 19 year old lad, 5'7 tall, Part white and part asian (If that makes sense) and most people say im a good looking lad. Personality wise, im a cheery and fun type of guy, always up for a laugh. I get on with the lads, and also with the females as mates very well. Infact my best friend is infact female :p I have heard from many people that i am "One of the nicest guys" they know.. Thats pretty much my nature, a "nice guy.." never meaning to cause any harm to anyone.Now, my problem is, I seem to lack confidence when it comes to anything to do with attraction/sexual attraction or talking to women I seem to have the "hots" for. I can talk to any girl, as a friend for hours. But when i look at a girl in a "Wow shes gorgeous" way, i seem to panic, dont know what to say, dont know how to approach her etc etc my mind seems to just go blank and i cant relax..Ive had 2 previous girlfriends, which didnt last long, and both messed me about. This has nailed my confidence into the ground even more, so no matter how hard i try to be confident i just cant.Now this sounds daft, but im still a virgin at 19. Ive had sexual contact, but not the whole nine yards, and this is also playing with my mind a little. I mean theres nothing wrong with being a later bloomer, but im really starting to get a little uncomfortable, especially when im not exactly getting anywhere with the ladies at all..I dont understand how ic an be such a confident guy as friends, doing presentations ifront of 50 peopleat work, talk to strangers easily etc etc, but cant talk to women when i have an attraction to them.. I dont see myself as self-conscious either, because i love being the person i am. I just lack confidence in the ladies area...I know this is all random, but.... help lol
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best friend, confidence, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2007): Are you a perfectionist and have some ideals about the way you should look to be physically / sexually attractive to women? I sometimes go through this thoughts that one needs to be perfect to be attractive to someone, and these thinking has been imposed by others who are themselves not perfect physically. Think about working on your physical self-esteem.
A
female
reader, Helen Help! :) +, writes (3 May 2007):
 Hi ya huni rrr bless ya dont worry your not alone infact many of us often make fools of our selves while tryin to impress sum1 thy like ive done it alot my self n i mean alot lol we panic try so hard to impress tht what actually comes out of our mouths we regret what weve said later n think i cant beleive i actually sed tht hehe. its natural but ya no what u jus have to shrug it off and laff bout it later if the person u r attractd to likes u back thyll understand as thy probably panickin to and tryin not to say stupid things thm selves if the person ur talkin to is worth ur charm n effection she wont care n she'll like u for who u r not what u say whatever u do tho DONT use cheesy chat up lines thy neva work lol and dont send a mate over n to say my m8 fancies u lol most lads jus go to a club n start randomly dancing with thm if thy see u n interact with u ask thm if thyd like a drink n thn at the bar you can make convo n see how it goes frm there hehe good luck n remember dnt panick were all the same. :)
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