A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really miss my FWB. We were the worst pairing imaginable and man he could push my buttons but I was crazy about him. after nearly two years, he decided he was finally ready to give 'us' a chance at a relationship and I panicked and cut contact with him. For two years he had reassured me that I was just a FWB then this happened and i just freaked out. The last serious relationship I had, ended really badly, it was emotionally abusive and very traumatic to say the least and I think this played a big part in my freaking out.Anyway, around six months later he got a GF and settled down. I was devastated but figured if he was happy then i was happy for him.a few months ago, He contacted me, told me he just couldn't forget me. He asked if he split up with his GF would I be with him. I agreed. Then, freaked out again ! It's just, I'm so into him, I'm so scared of getting hurt, I think I am even scared of being happy. I just dont feel good enough for him you know? This would be too good to be true. I started 'dating' a close friend of his for a while, but I realised it was mostly to find out about him so i cut it off and now I don't know what to do?On the one hand I feel I should do nothing and let him be happy with his GF? but then on the other hand I really want to call him up?what do i do? :((Im really sorry for how long this is)
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emotionally abusive, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your responses.
I think I need to at least have a talk with him and get my head straight about the whole situation, but I realise now that before this, I need to sort myself out and my own issues.(No idea how to even do this)
I suppose if it's meant to be, it will be.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 January 2014):
 First: Sit down and talk to YOURSELF. Decide if you REALLY want to be in a "FWB" arrangement with this guy.... or do you want a REAL "relationship" with him...
Once you've answered THAT, for yourself, then sit down and talk to this guy... and tell him that you either:
1. Want to have a REAL "relationship" with him... and nothing less, or,
2. You would like to be the tart who engages him in an "FWB" "relationship".... which "relationship" - as you know - offers NOTHING to you.... except the chance to spread your legs and be his strumpet.... and EVERYTHING (that a guy craves) to HIM....
Simple choice, no?
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, DragonMan  +, writes (27 January 2014):
 Greetings,
This situation is rather complex but my first piece of advice is never be part of a split up.
After all imagine how you'd feel if your boyfriend dumped you for another female. Do as you would have done to you is an honourable practice and if he is so easily willing to ditch his girlfriend for you doesn't bode well for attitudes towards fidelity.
I would advise to get yourself out of the picture, get some time out, relax and meditate and see the problem as a whole before risking a course of action
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 January 2014):
 Are you happy the way you are? If not then will you be worst off if things did not work out with this FWB? I would suggest that you take the risk and pursue a relationship with him. He needs to end things with his GF before you pursue anything with him. Remember you can play safe and not get involved and regret it for the rest of your life or you can take the risk and just might find happiness.
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