A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I would REALLY appreciate a little dating advice here! It would make the world of a difference. So, to start this off I began talking to a guy who is just a little over a year older then me. He has an apartment, two jobs bar tending, and his own car. While on the other hand I have none of that and live with my mom and normally stay with my grandfather during the summer (which is a couple minutes closer to his house). We haven't been talking for that long but he is honestly the sweetest and most caring guy I could imagine. He isn't in it for his own pleasure and his assures me that he just wants me to be as happy as possible. So far, we've been on three separate dates. They've all lasted over 5 hours each but this last one I spent the entire day with him, 9+ hours. And it was the first time I went to his apartment. We watched movies, tv shows, and played video games which is my ideal day. Haha. So anyways, I was in mid sentence and he kissed me. This was the first time we kissed so I was in total shock. To get to the point we just did a lot of making out and body kissing, nothing more then that. But I'm scared I might have done something wrong because I in fact DID want to go further then that but I know he didn't. Normally, I don't ever do anything like that. I haven't had a boyfriend in 6+ months and I haven't had sex in well over a year so maybe it was just all my hormones built up? I'm not too sure but I feel terrible! We talk nonstop so I know he's not mad but it's still in the back of my head. We aren't 'official' and I'm not sure why. I know I'm the only girl in his life and he's most definitely the only guy I'm interested in so it's just really confusing. Can someone please tell me what you believe he's thinking? Or what I can do? It would mean SO much to me you have no idea! Thank you for reading this guys! Looking forward to reading any advice you have for me. xoxo.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 April 2011):
Hi there. He does live a busy life with 2 jobs bartending and his own apartment and a car.
Depending on how many nights a week he spends at these bartending jobs, it might not leave much free time for a relationship.
He obviously likes you by what you've said, so it doesn't seem to be that there's anyone else.
Does it really need to be official? You know what the status more or less is, that you see each other when he is not working. If you are happy with this arrangement and you see each other often enough, well I guess that should probably be enough for now.
Just don't try to push him into something he isn't quite ready for. Don't ask him to define it to you, just let things flow naturally and ejoy life a bit.
I guess it really depends on what you want from this relationship. Because of his 2 bartending jobs, he might be working nights, so this restricts when he can see you.
All you can do is to just enjoy the time you are together and try to do different things together. Don't just stay at home - go see a movie, go on a picnic etc. There's so many things you could do to make your lives fun.
It's probably also wise that you see your own friends as well, and have some life of your own to do your own thing. That way, you are not entirely dependent on him to make you happy.
It will also take the pressure off, for it to become a relationship. It seems that at some level, it already is.
The main thing is to ensure that he is treating you properly, with respect and dignity, and that he is not mistreating you or taking you for granted in any way.
Just let things flow, and you'll be a lot happier, I promise you.
Just keep expectation out of it completely, then you can't go wrong.
Take care and best wishes.
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