A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my wife for 6 years. She recently cheated on me and the person she was cheating with needed a place to stay and she had him move in with us. I found out what was going on about a month and a half afterwards. He petended to be my friend and she lied to me through the entire thing. However he also lied to her about his record and is now in jail, therefor even though my wife says she does not love how she used to she has not completly left me yet. I love my wife very much and do not hold against her what she did because she has always been a good person. My question is can you do this to someone you love, I now question if she ever loved me. I have never lied to her and before this believe she has never lied to me, I just wish I could believe that she loved me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI believe that she will never lie to me again. We are only still together right now however as roomates. She says she loves me but not in that way and she is confused about what she should do. I wish I knew what to do to get her to feel that way again. She will kiss me but the last person she made love to was him. He has been in jail for a month and a half now, but her feelings for me have not come back, yet before him they had not gone away. She tells me if I had asked her the day before she kissed him if she would evr be with anyone else but me she would have said no and that she truly would have belived it to be true. I just want to know if there is anything I can do to get her to see me as she once did.
A
male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (30 January 2009):
Well thats your choice. I didn't trust me after she did. I supposed all people are somewhat different. Best of luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help regardless of this however I still trust her conpletly. You did not tell me because she did not want to hurt me I believe. I promised her early on that I would forgive her of anything and that whether she was with me or not I would never be with anyone else regardless of if she was with me are not for I truly believe we are sopposed to be together and I take my promisises very seriously. I will never break that promise I just want to believe that at some point she loved me the way she said she did. My heart tells me she did but logically I have trouble believing that it is true.
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A
female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY  +, writes (29 January 2009):
 I wonder if the guy wasn't in jail would they still be together?? probably?? sometimes when we are bored and stressed with everyday life we can look elsewhere for comfort etc but i truly believe if she was totally happy with you and in love this would not have happend - if you truly loved someone no matter what the circumstances you would not cheat on them, ever. I think you need to get her out of your life and get on with yours x
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A
male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (29 January 2009):
I'm sorry to hear that. I for one have definitely been in those shoes. The answer to your question would be, does she show you her love? My ex always you used to say she loved me and what not but when it came to her showing it, I never saw it. She kept acting out and putting herself in situations where it looked as if she was cheating. I ended up not believing she loved me. The fact is, she brought a man into your house and started an affair and I'm sure this guy must have been such a "catch", since he is now in prison. That itself, is an insult to you. I would also wonder, if she did that while you guys were in the same house, what will she do outside of your house? I left my girlfriend because I never trusted her anymore. The questions never left my head. The best thing to do is follow your heart and your instinct. The best decision will also ALWAYS be the hardest one. Best of luck, I hope this helps.
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