A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:in love after a recent breakup.....Recently (feb '07) my partner ended our relationship because I became emotionally detached and this hurt her very much. Unfortunately I was dealing with a traumatic issue that came up and I was having a difficult time. I never stopped loving her, and am still in love. She still has feelings for me but says she cant come back because I hurt her. Yet when I ask if we can try again, she says she can't predict the future. What should I do to bring her around? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): I can't think of any trauma in life, that would cause a man who genuinely and deeply loves a woman, to emotionally detach and withdraw from her. Usually most couples will love, support and encourage each other through life's bad hardships. This is the true test of commitment and mutual love. What happened was she quickly realized that the words "I love you' didn't hold much meaning to you because you easily chose to withdraw from her, thus treating her badly and causing her deep pain.. This was your choice to behave this way. And she took the brunt of it. Of course she's reluctant. So what can you do to bring her around? You can't do anything right now. I have the feeling you have tried all you can think of. What's happened dear, is she doesn't have faith in you right now and she's trying to figure out why you treated her this way, in the first place. You will need to give her time. And you need to decide if you truly DO love her or is this a case of 'wanting something you can't have'. That appeals to a great deal of people and that is a painful place for one's ex gf to be. Maybe she knows this about you. So think about this and if she does consider starting anew with you be absolutely prepared to love her with all your heart, be prepared to respect and honor her, and be prepared to give her 110% of your time and energies. If you get this far with her, no detaching, no indecisions. Just do it and get it right this time and be prepared to make it work.
A
female
reader, lozz  +, writes (28 March 2007):
Keep trying you can heal after pain love is beautiful. Good Luck
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A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 hellowrite every day a letter or post card writ how you see her in your life write her name on a mounten or drew her face aith the moon light or walk under heavy rain for 50 km singing that you love her .good luck
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Many people say they "Love someone", but you say "In Love", There is a Very big difference between Love, and In Love. These words show your depth of feeling for your lady. My Advice to bring her around? Write her a Long, long Letter, spill out all your feelings, in depth. Also put in the trauma you were going through; how it affected you & that you wished you could have shared it with her (and mean it). You could do the old "safe bet" bunch of flowers routine; but I don`t think that`s you. Please let us know how you get on, With Love, Heather.
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A
female
reader, Lady tinks +, writes (27 March 2007):
 It sound to me as this girl is confused by her feelings. She wants to get close but is scared of being hurt again. If you can prove that you are over this upset you've had maybe she may give things another go. all the best x x x
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